WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Show, Don’t Tell and POV

Critique by Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through July 24.

This week’s questions:

1. Main concern: Is there telling detected that should be deleted or can be corrected? Suggestions?

2. Is there enough at stake?

3. Is the scene grounded enough in description?

4. Is there enough about Malia to make the reader care or sympathize with her?

5. Anything outstanding that could use revising?

Market/Genre: Romantic Suspense

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com