Choosing to Value Others By Listening to Them

@bethvogt

 

Listening, truly listening to another person, is both simple and hard work.

I’ve focused on listening to others for the past 18 months, ever since choosing “Listen” as my One Word in 2020 and then again in 2021. The one lesson I’m going to remember when 2022 arrives and I move onto a new One Word is that listening takes diligence. I have to purpose not to talk, talk, talk when I’m with someone else. Instead, I set myself on SILENT and actively listen during a conversation.

We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule – the guiding tenet prompting us to treat others the way we want to be treated. Worth remembering, right? And it’s also applicable to choosing to listen because, well, I want someone to listen to me when I’m talking. Don’t you?

Philippians 2:3 raises the bar higher, telling us to consider others more important than ourselves. The verse doesn’t settle for not thinking about me and what I want. Instead, I’m to consider how valuable another person is, reminding myself they are made in God’s image, and to determine to put their needs ahead of mine.

One of the most practical ways we can show someone how important they are is by listening to them. The act of listening to another person instills value on them because we’re saying – without using words –they are worth our time and attention. Our family member or friend or colleague is more valuable to us than anything else we could be doing.

Of course, every conversation is a two-way street. But to be a good listener, we have to be intentional. We choose to stop moving, as it were, and yield right-of-way to someone else, allowing them to talk uninterrupted. Our contribution to the conversation? Listening.

I’ve learned to close my laptop. Set my phone aside and ignore any incoming texts or phone calls. Mute the TV – better yet, turn it off.

It’s also important to face the other person and make eye contact because we don’t listen just with our ears. A lot of what is said is conveyed through a person’s body language. If we’re not looking at someone when they’re talking, we may miss out on vital cues to underlying emotions.

When there is a space of silence, I tell myself to wait … wait … wait … and inevitably, the person starts talking again. Or I ask them, “What else?” Just those simple question usually prompts someone to share more.

In the past 18 months, I’ve discovered what a privilege it is to listen to someone when they’re talking about both the minor and major events in their lives.

I’m curious: How do you feel when someone listens, really listens, to you? 

 

Choosing to Value Others By Listening to Them #listen #relationships
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'Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else ...' #quote by Margaret J. Wheatley #listen #focus
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