Lessons in Love from the Single Guy

Tonight I spent some time with a good group of high school guys. We laughed, had ice ice cream, drove around and talked. Mostly them mocking me…but I’m used to it. I dish it right back out.

Then the topic of relationships came up.

“You need a girl, Eric! We’ll set you up on Tinder. You’re so lonely.”

I’m so lonely as I spend a evening with a car full of guys driving around, investing in them, laughing, buying ice cream…and I’m lonely.

It’s interesting the people who always tell me I must be lonely are people I spend time with. So, if I’m lonely, does that make you lonely? Nah. They never see it that way.

Or if I were in a relationship, would I be spending my Monday nights with a group of teenage guys or with my wife? Would I be hiking with a group of middle school guys or with my wife? Would I be watching a movie with a group of students or with my wife?

People may think I’m lonely. But I usually have my weeks packed with things to do.

But the thing is, I don’t invest in the next generation because I have free time and I need something to fill it. I invest because I see potential in the next generation and I just want to encourage them and give them advice that will lead in a good direction.

So, after they got off me for a second we started talking about cologne. There was a skunk smell outside and the bad smell brought up what smells good. They mentioned various colognes and I said, “If you want something cheap that is good, get Bath & Body Works men’s lotion and apply it on your skin. It smells like cologne and you can get good deals on it.”

One of my guys said, “I couldn’t go in there. What if a girl saw me. I’ll tell my mom to go in for me.”

I said, “No, let the girl see you. She may like you more. And if she asks, tell her your buying something for your mom and then when she leaves get your stuff. A guy who buys his mom a present will look good to a girl.”

One of my guys said, “No, it won’t.”

I said, “Trust me. It will. You may want to date and have a good time with a girl who doesn’t care what you think about your mom, but you’re not going to want to marry that girl.”

He nodded his head and agreed. “That makes sense.”

As we got into one night stands and those are not good. Don’t do it.

“You’ve never had one, Eric? You’re single.”

“Never. And you shouldn’t either. If you have two little kids with two different baby mommas, you did it wrong. Marriage first.”

Parents, kids want to talk. If they aren’t talking to you, who are they talking to? Because they are talking to someone. Try to find out who their sphere of influence is. Try to find out who they are talking to.

I may be single but I know a few things.

There are fish in the sea who want to be hooked. And then there are fish like me who enjoys swimming alone.

Most people may never understand. They see their typical life with their spouse and kids and believe that is the life everyone wants. So when they see someone without what they have then they need to be fixed.

As if singleness is a disease and there is a vaccine to cure it.

I’ve had various guys I’ve mentored through the years and most have brought up my relationship status. They have all had hopes of finding me a woman. As if finding a wife will fix me.

But I didn’t know I was broken? Guess I’ve been lying to myself my entire life of being happily single.

Nah.

I’m happily single.

And I’m happy spending my evenings with a group of students who care enough for me to want to make sure I was happy. Guys who prod and joke at my loser status but also willing to listen to me for a few minutes as I pour into them in hopes of them not making a mistake that could drastically change their future.

But I just want to let them know. If I ever get married, I won’t be buying your ice cream anymore.

I will be buying my wife’s. So enjoy Cold Stone with me while you can. Who knows what the future holds.

And if anyone sees my picture on Tinder…it’s not me.

Peace