The Fiver | England usually schedule this sort of farce for the end of the tournament

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We’re nearly there. At the end of the week, the space-time-continuum-bothering festival of football that is Euro Not 2020 kicks off in [checks notes] Rome. It’s definitely going to happen this time, it’ll get completed for sure, nothing to worry about at all, the Spanish squad has been forced into isolation after Sergio Busquets tested positive for coronavirus and can’t play their final warm-up game as a result. No, nothing to see here, nothing to worry your pretty little head about, roll up, roll up for Uefa Euro Not 2020, Live It, For Real(TM), step right this way.

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