Taking directives from Nancy Pelosi on conscience and consistency is like...

... taking advice from Charlie Sheen on marriage and monogamy. Watch the short clip posted by CNSNews.com, from an event held this past Monday at Texas A&M. Let's take a quick look at the statements made by Pelosi in the clip:

A decision about the size and timing of your family is really personal. And that's a matter of conscience for each person.

Pelosi believes, then, that the deeply personal decision about the "size and timing" of one's family is a matter of conscience, but the aborting of babies is a matter of necessity and "women's health", as indicated by her 100% NARAL rating and unremittingly and very public pro-abortion stances. Not to mention her wild and slanderous insistence, last October, that opposition to abortion provisions in Obamacare proves that pro-life Republicans are heartless, women-hating oafs: "Under this bill [that would have removed abortion from Obamacare coverage] when the Republicans vote for this bill today, they will be voting to say that women can die on the floor and health care providers do not have to intervene if this bill is passed."

Here's the deal: Pelosi has made an entire career out of outlandish, ridiculous, false, and hideous statements because it works. And she gets away with it. Again and again and again.

So in her twisted, contraceptive-worshipping world, the Church's historical, logical, and principled stand against contraceptives (and abortion) is an affront to conscience, while the willful thwarting of procreation is a most sacred and deeply personal act, tantamount to Moses climbing up Mount Sinai, except in this case it is donning of a condom or the use of chemicals that facilitates the magical moment of sterile, self-centered pleasure.

Ninety-eight percent of women in childbearing age that are Catholic use contraception.

False. As even the Washington Post pointed out. But let's not allow facts to interfere with The Great Contraceptive Awakening! That simply won't do. It's also beside the point. To paraphrase Chesterton, the truth doesn't change because 20% believed a falsehood on Monday and now 80% believe a falsehood on Friday.

So, in practice the church has not enforced this and now they want the federal government and private insurance to enforce it. It just isn't consistent to me.

Uh, perhaps because that might be the most asinine and perversely twisted sentence ever uttered by Pelosi, which is quite the (dubious) accomplishment, especially since she also recently said about the HHS mandate: "I am going to stick with my fellow Catholics in supporting the Administration on this. I think it was a very courageous decision that they made, and I support it..." The Church is just standing there, minding it's own business, and Big Brother N. Government comes along and says, "You need to pay for your employees to do This, That, and the Other Thing". When the Church refuses, B.B.N. Government says, "Do it, or face massive fines and other possible punishments." And Ms. Pelosi interprets this as the Church wanting the Government to enforce This, That, and the Other Thing.

Two questions: Why hasn't her bishop said anything? And why hasn't her high school revoked her diploma?

As Michael Warsaw, president of EWTN, wrote in The New York Times, the mandate is simply coercive:

Earlier this month, in response to widespread opposition to the mandate, the president announced an "accommodation" for some religious organizations — like, potentially, EWTN — that would shift the responsibility for the coverage from the employer to the employer's insurance carrier. But this would do nothing to solve the problem. First, EWTN self-insures, so we are the insurer. Second, even if we had an outside insurer, we would still be in the untenable position of facilitating access to drugs that go against our beliefs. And if we refused to comply with the directive, we could be hit with annual fines starting at around $600,000.

The administration's supporters say that by opposing the rule, religious employers like EWTN are guilty of trying to coerce our employees and impose our values on them. But we are simply choosing not to participate in the use of these drugs. Our 350 employees, many of whom are not Catholic, freely choose to work here and can purchase and use contraception if they want to. They are aware of the values we practice, and I hear regularly from Catholic and non-Catholic employees alike how much they love working for an organization that is defined by its Catholic beliefs — beliefs that we think result in a better workplace and more expansive benefits over all.

Instead, it is the government — which does not accept EWTN's religious choice and can punish that choice by imposing fines — that is coercing us.

But, of course, Pelosi has mastered the wretched rhetoric that dominates this post-modern, rubberized funland, presenting herself as martyr and victim:

Whatever my personal beliefs or my personal upbringing are on this subject everyone has their own responsibility in terms of the size and the rest of their family. So, I think this should be removed from the debate, it's inflammatory--misrepresentations are made...

Yes, they sure are. How do I know? Pelosi's lips are moving. Finally:

I want to say this—maybe overstating, I can't speak for everyone—but there's a sisterhood, there's a sisters under the skin understanding of this issue among women...

What is that? The Sisterhood of the Traveling Tramps? At least one feminist openly says, "Yes!" and admits what is really going on:

"When deeply-settled rights are most in danger, it's not the time to euphemize, or retreat from assertions of sexual liberty and self-governance. It's time to gun it instead," she declared.

"So here's the subject I advocate for, because no one dares to speak her name: It's the 20-something unmarried heterosexual woman who wants to have sex, has sex, enjoys a good sex life with her boyfriend, and, in that sex life, uses birth control. Or, she accidentally gets pregnant."

"I advocate for the slut who sleeps with lots of men, as well as the woman who sleeps with only one, ever. Promiscuously heterosexual, and happy about it? I've got your back."

And Pelosi has hers. Meanwhile, Pelosi continues to stab the Church in the back. And the front. With impunity.

• The bishops are standing up to the President. But what of Pelosi? (Feb. 8, 2012)