Despite The Criticism We Face As Writers, We Must Continue To Write
Despite The Criticism We Face As Writers, We Must Continue To Write
The BackLash From “Pretty Boys Don’t Cry.”
Writing “Pretty Boys Don’t Cry” for Love and Literature brought me so much peace, but it was also controversial. While I received praise from friends, strangers and family members about the stories, my mother and my ex disapproved of me writing about my negative experiences because of how it made them look. I wasn’t surprised by their critique, but I was disappointed in how they chose to express it.
My ex and mother didn’t understand the intentions because of the shame that came with the shared experience. I was hoping that the past experiences that had kept me enslaved by my insecurities and ego could help break some of the generational curses affecting young men like me. People generally judge you as you speak based on their interpretation of what you are saying, not what you are trying to say.
As writers, sometimes our emotions become miscommunicated when we try to articulate how we feel because we are usually coming from a hurt place when writing about traumatic experiences.
Not being able to adjust their perspective, they attacked me with an acrimonious tone followed by labels and judged me for who I was and not who I had become. My series reminded them of the parts of them that hadn’t changed that they couldn’t admit. In reflection of some of my past arguments, I realized that we often attack people we love with a bitter and vicious tone but are polite to people we don’t love because the people we do love are a reflection of who we are.
The labels they branded me with made it easier to accommodate their ignorance. I’ve learned the moment you allow people to tell you who you are is the moment you allow them to limit who you can be. They found it easier to label me than put themselves in my shoes because it prevented them from getting attached to their flaws.
One of the most frustrating things is to be filled with emotions but limited with the words to express them. I often found myself looking in a dictionary for ways to help articulate how I was feeling during vulnerable moments in Chapter three. Thoughts empower you, but when the only thoughts you hear are the voices of the people who discourage you, it becomes hard to manage.
It has been my observation that as writers, our opinion, emotions and thoughts are the only protection we have left in this world. To receive access to many privileges, we often give up our private information to our electronic devices and social media to list a few examples. The mind is the only place we have left of assured privacy. Though it is the safest place in our world, it’s also the most dangerous when we are in our darkest moments.
As writers, we allow ourselves to become completely vulnerable and honest. If we allow the opinions of others to impact our writing, it would merely dilute how we express ourselves. Still, with the power of the pen or keyboard comes responsibility. We can’t take back the hurt one feels when they read our writing with an apology.
This is why it is essential to remember your intentions when you are writing, whether for a purpose or something you are passionate about. Understanding who your target audience is and understanding the potential backlash from your writing is instrumental when processing the rejection, especially in this culture that is always cancelling instead of investigating the message behind the messenger.
When writing scripts and books, you often have to cross-references comparable stories to sell your idea. When writing articles for publications, I believe we have to embrace our uniqueness to stand out from the other writers in the industry. I would rather be a great original instead of a cheap copy, especially when I have the option to be myself and tell my truth.
Not everyone will be able to relate to your writing, but it is our uniqueness as writers that make us part of who we are, and although it feels awkward, I promise that eventually, you will get to a place where we can see its relevance.
The power of life and death is the tongue. My tongue is the pen of a skillful writer, and this pen has no eraser.
Despite The Criticism We Face As Writers, We Must Continue To Write was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
