Stealing Candy
One writing activity I had some of my eighth grade English classes do involved playacting. I had my students observe and write what unsuspecting students do when they are placed in stressful situations. I wanted my writers to present visual evidence of the observed person’s emotional state rather than to use lazy generalizations like “He was nervous” or “I could see he was angry.”
With my class primed to write, I would send one of my students to another classroom to bring back the selected victim, somebody I had carefully chosen, a student strong in character, self-confident, well regarded by his classmates.
When the chosen one entered my room, I put on a display of temper. I wanted to make plausible what my students were doing and I wanted to create an atmosphere that would cause my subject to be more apprehensive.
“You are to keep writing while I talk to Jack here! I don’t want to hear a sound out of any of you! I have something to clear up here! Now’s not the right time to get on my wrong side!”
I would then turn to “Jack” or “Sarah” or whoever it was, looking at me directly with not a part of his or her body moving.
“Jack, you know I keep a bag of Brach’s candy in my desk drawer, don’t you?”
Jack would respond, and several of my students would write down something about what he had just done with his hands or how specifically he had moved his feet.
“I guess you’re wondering why I asked you that question.”
Jack, answering or nodding, presented something else for my students to record.
“Well, here it is!” I would then look up and glare at a student in one of the rear seats. “Hemsley, I told you I wanted no fooling around! Right?! Right?!” Hemsley would answer. “Noon detention! Be here five minutes after the bell!”
Then back to Jack. “I’ll get right to the point. I was a bit surprised when one of my students told me he saw you looking into the desk drawer yesterday. I checked it out and found a bunch of my candy gone. I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I want to hear what you have to say.”
Jack would say something, professing his innocence; then I would end it. I’d immediately give him several candies. I would tell him he had been called in to be the subject of a writing assignment, that I had chosen him because he was a strong individual well-respected by his classmates, and that he was welcome to stay a few minutes to watch the next victim be interrogated and observed. I would have several students read their visual detail observations. I would suggest how some of their sentences could be tightened up and made more visual. I would then send my messenger off to bring back our next victim.
I especially appreciate writers that employ sharp sensory detail especially in scenes that have dialogue. I know that a writer doesn’t have the time to observe and record in his mind all the little things people do while they converse; but occasionally he or she should use precise sensory detail to convey emotion or at least a sense of presence.
As I would tell my students, show what you see; don’t generalize.
With my class primed to write, I would send one of my students to another classroom to bring back the selected victim, somebody I had carefully chosen, a student strong in character, self-confident, well regarded by his classmates.
When the chosen one entered my room, I put on a display of temper. I wanted to make plausible what my students were doing and I wanted to create an atmosphere that would cause my subject to be more apprehensive.
“You are to keep writing while I talk to Jack here! I don’t want to hear a sound out of any of you! I have something to clear up here! Now’s not the right time to get on my wrong side!”
I would then turn to “Jack” or “Sarah” or whoever it was, looking at me directly with not a part of his or her body moving.
“Jack, you know I keep a bag of Brach’s candy in my desk drawer, don’t you?”
Jack would respond, and several of my students would write down something about what he had just done with his hands or how specifically he had moved his feet.
“I guess you’re wondering why I asked you that question.”
Jack, answering or nodding, presented something else for my students to record.
“Well, here it is!” I would then look up and glare at a student in one of the rear seats. “Hemsley, I told you I wanted no fooling around! Right?! Right?!” Hemsley would answer. “Noon detention! Be here five minutes after the bell!”
Then back to Jack. “I’ll get right to the point. I was a bit surprised when one of my students told me he saw you looking into the desk drawer yesterday. I checked it out and found a bunch of my candy gone. I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I want to hear what you have to say.”
Jack would say something, professing his innocence; then I would end it. I’d immediately give him several candies. I would tell him he had been called in to be the subject of a writing assignment, that I had chosen him because he was a strong individual well-respected by his classmates, and that he was welcome to stay a few minutes to watch the next victim be interrogated and observed. I would have several students read their visual detail observations. I would suggest how some of their sentences could be tightened up and made more visual. I would then send my messenger off to bring back our next victim.
I especially appreciate writers that employ sharp sensory detail especially in scenes that have dialogue. I know that a writer doesn’t have the time to observe and record in his mind all the little things people do while they converse; but occasionally he or she should use precise sensory detail to convey emotion or at least a sense of presence.
As I would tell my students, show what you see; don’t generalize.
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