10 Things Never to Tell Someone at the Finish Line

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To celebrate my first race in five years (thanks to injuries, job changes, and COVID), I compiled a list of the absolute worst things to say to someone as they cross the finish line at a race. Here are a few favorites, many of which have been said to me.

10. Maybe running/biking/swimming just isn’t your thing.

9. Times aren’t everything.

8. What went wrong out there?

7. Did you see that eighty-year-old ahead of you?

6. Does this mean we can go home now?

5. Is it finally out of your system?

4. Maybe you should train harder next time.

3. They’re out of the cookies.

2. It’s good you’re done; they’re starting to take down stuff.

And the number one thing not to say is . . .

1. This CANNOT be said if you beat the person you’re saying it to. “Good job out there.” Translation: but not as good as me.

Has anyone ever said anything to you at the finish line that you just wanted to slug them for?