Looking at art: Pieter Breughel's "Netherlandish Proverbs"

So yesterday on Facebook, a friend of mine was telling a story about her kids–how they'd had a really bad week, things weren't going well, and the youngest, the kindergartener, even had "his fish moved into next week."

To which all her friends replied, "He had his fish moved into next week???"

It turns out the kindergarten class uses some sort of discipline system where everyone has a fish, and based on his or her behavior, one's fish can be moved around, thus earning or losing various privileges. Having one's fish moved into next week is bad news.

I immediately declared that moving one's fish into next week should be a new catchphrase, describing an annoying and inconveniencing situation. Like, "Man, that two-hour staff meeting really moved my fish into next week."`

And since I have this platform, I, of course, am promoting this new phrase and expect all of you to start using it in conversation. Someday, my friends, we are going to cause enormous confusion and bafflement for linguists. And we will not have lived in vain.

This got me thinking about other obscure proverbs, and that led me directly to a fantastic piece of wacko art: Pieter Breughel the Elder's Netherlandish Proverbs.

Pieter Breughel the Elder, "Netherlandish Proverbs," 1559 (Click on the image to enlarge.)

Is that not weird and wonderful?

Breughel is famous for his earthy, realistic depictions of peasant life in the Renaissance-era Netherlands. His mastery of detail is remarkable–if you want a sense of what life was like in a village in Northern Europe in the 1550s, spend some time with Breughel.

He created Netherlandish Proverbs at the height of his career, and it was evidently hugely popular. His son Pieter Breughel the Younger painted some 20 copies of the work, many slightly differing in the proverbs they depict. More than 100 common sayings are illustrated.

While many of the sayings exist in English–"swimming against the tide," for example–others are completely unknown in our language, and others are so tied to their time as to be meaningless now.

I couldn't possibly show them all–if you're curious, let Google work its magic–but here are some of my favorites:

"To having the world spinning on your thumb" – To have every advantage. Look at that swanky gown and be-feathered hat–he's certainly got every advantage, doesn't he?

"To have the roof tiled with tarts" – To be extremely wealthy. I guess if you're super-rich, you've got so many tarts you don't know what to do with them and you don't care if your roof leaks?

"To barely reach from one loaf to another" — To have difficulty living within one's means. The poor guy sure looks uncomfortable. Also seen here, sitting on the table, is "a hoe without a handle," describing something useless. Underneath the table we see "To look for the hatchet" – To look for an excuse.

"To piss against the moon" – To waste time in a futile endeavor. And lest you worry this poor chap is in pain, he also represents "to have a toothache behind the ears" – to deceive or malinger. I guess claiming to have a toothache–probably a common complaint–was a good way to avoid work.

"A pillar-biter" – a religious hypocrite.

Nope, I can't make sense of that one. But it's marvelous.

Speaking of religious sayings:

"To tie a flaxen beard to the face of Christ" – To hide deceit under a veneer of Christian piety. Notice the person doing the tying is dressed in a monk's brown habit and holds rosary beads.  The Reformation didn't take hold in the Netherlands for nothing.

"She could even tie the devil to a pillow" – She's so obstinate she can accomplish anything. I love the expression on the woman's face. It must take a lot of commitment to tie the devil to a pillow, although I'm wondering why you'd try.

"To see bears dancing" – To be starving. I guess if you get hungry enough, you start hallucinating dancing bears???

These are all great, but this has to be my favorite part of the image, if only because it emphasizes the reality that great art can be earthy, crude and marvelous, all at the same time:

"They both crap out of the same hole." – To be in agreement. Well, they would certainly have to be, wouldn't they?

At the same time, we see "To wipe one's ass on a door" – To treat something lightly. The guy to the far left represents "To kiss the ring of the door" – To be obsequious.

I could go on all day. Spend some time poking around this painting–it's endlessly rewarding. And it may add to your stock of sayings–I'm going to try to work "tying the devil to a pillow" into my day-to-day conversation.

But remember: priority goes first to "moved my fish into next week." I expect status reports.