The Fiver | Structural problems that don’t seem to be making anyone in football happy

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Last weekend proved to be the most productive yet in The Fiver’s ongoing campaign to STOP FOOTBALL. On Friday afternoon, the punditocracy downed social-media-disgrace tools for 81 hours, the resulting peace and quiet acting as a form of cyberdouche, cleaning hot takes from every nook and cranny of the internet, a polemic irrigation. Ah, silent bliss, and bacteria-free too. Then on Sunday, Old Trafford fell to protesters good and true, this being long past the time when The Man has needed telt. So for two glorious, righteous, truth-bringing hours, FOOTBALL was STOPPED. The Fiver’s work, in the sense that we ourselves had contributed absolutely nothing, was done. ¡No pasarán!

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