Wow. Never Do This, I Guess. Or Maybe Do It Lots.

I went looking for a particular old email…it was in an old email address I haven't used in years, that I used when I first got the internet, way before I turned pro.

I haven't gone back, couldn't even remember the password for a long time.  The first thing I noticed was I was even more annoying back then than I am now.

But it was the day after the anniversary of Dwayne McDuffie's passing, and I saw one of his old emails and just decided to read them all. I miss my friend and hero.

I used to delete a lot of emails so some are lost forever, but the very first email from him that I retained, I had just been offered a column, this was over a decade ago, at a couple different websites. I had written some little parody pieces about the comics industry and these sites asked me to continue that, weekly.

I had no aspirations to go pro, and the idea terrified me a little.

I asked Dwayne what I should do, since I wasn't a writer.  The very earliest email of his that I found, he said…

"You are "TOO" a writer, and a damned funny one, at that."

All the feelings.  One of the first people ever to tell me that.

And then I find a bunch more emails, almost always with some gift of encouragement. A 'congratulations,' here, or a 'well done,' there.  Just watching out for me, for no reason but kindness.

Lots of back and forth exchanges, some advice, which was always rock solid.

I found a couple things I had totally forgotten about. He had been working on a pitch for Cartoon Network and wanted me aboard. Remember, this is back when I had barely done anything yet…I'd had the column and might have appeared in Simpsons Comics, and that was mostly it. He just felt I could do it.

One thing I can't believe I forgot was I found an old cartoon series pitch that Mark Waid and I had done, for Dwayne, that he was going to take to his Cartoon Network contacts. I can't find what happened to that pitch, but it's weird that I had completely forgotten about it.

And I found the lovely letter from one of the happiest days in my career, when he asked me to write a Birds of Prey-esque episode for JLU.

He continued to send short letters of encouragement and advice, and we would meet up for discussions at convention functions. So he was there for me from before I actually knew I wanted to write, he knew it before I did, and he wouldn't let me pass the chance by.

I know I've talked about Dwayne a lot here, but reading this stuff, it's almost a sure thing I'd still be a hairdresser without his encouragement.

So, yes, all the feelings.