Deep Space 9 Livetweet, S2, Episodes 1-5
DS9 S2 Ep 1, “The Homecoming”
– I’m so glad everyone’s anti-cop now, because maybe that means they’ll start finding Odo as boring as he is. They got a whole character out of ‘beige’. Amazing.
– ‘O no there’s a Bajoran group that wants the Federation out… after decades of occupation by another foreign power…’ like. I’m not surprised. ?
– Man, this random Cardassian guard is unbelievably stupid-horny. Kira and O’Brien are really going to leave their Federation phaser in the hands of people staying behind in this prison camp to hold off the guards, who will no doubt be immediately discovered and searched? Why did you bring Federation materiel on this secret mission? Why is O’Brien even here—he’s got a wife, and a small child?
– This whole escape attempt seems stage-managed and fake as fuck, not just Dukat’s ‘sowwy!!’
– I cannot fucking believe the Federation seemingly has no protocol for people coming out of prison camps beyond ‘immediately throw them to the wolves, I guess?’
– The scripting this week is feeble.
– Sisko: ‘Silence, hate crime victim Quark!!’ (I have never Vibed with Sisko.)
– Why do you think this guy who’s been in a prison camp for a decade would be ready to just bounce into a leadership position? Why would anyone think that? Who script-edited this?
– This episode was written by children. This prison camp guy, Li Nalas, doesn’t know who the live factions on the planet are: he cannot serve as the liaison officer to the occupying foreign power that Bajor depends on for military aid. The post is simply too important for someone without these core competencies, even given that they’re using him and want him out of the way.
– From a truly bad review of an itself-bad episode: “Additionally, the show further solidifies my hatred of the Bajorans- -one of the most annoying, aggressive and xenophobic people in the Trek universe–which is made worse since they are an omnipresent force on the show!”
Wow, it’s so weird that these recently-colonised people are suspicious of outsiders? Tell me you’re American without telling me you’re American…
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DS9 S2 Ep 2, “The Circle”
– DS9 is not nearly as consistently politically intelligent as people who prefer it to the other series tend to claim. It sometimes bites off more than TNG, and ends up mumbling edgy buzz words.
– Now Odo is here to make Kira do emotional labour about how he’s upset that she got de facto demoted. Get in the bin/bucket, Odo.
– Kira’s uniform is still really good, imo. Her red leather ankle boots are fucking great.
– Sisko’s saying like ‘we’ll get you back, Kira!’ lands like ‘don’t you worry, once this quarantine is over, we’ll go to Nando’s again!!’
– Vedek Bareil needs to learn vocal intonation. Like, any change of pitch. Kickstarter to help Vedek Bareil unlock ‘expression’. Who the fuck cast this guy? Every scene he’s in, just replace him with a package of luncheon meat. Subtitle lines.
– Bajoran architecture remains excellent. This moon door, the art nouveau lines—the script isn’t working, but the design team sure is!
– To be fair, Ep 2 is much, much better-written than Ep 1. Every time Kai Wenn talks, you want to brain her with an orb. Fair!
-And we do all like an Odo, Deputy Quark buddy-cop team up. Quark is proving more useful than three other characters put together.
– Li Nalas, character of the week, is so fucking destined for death. The flags on this one.
– Me: Of course you shouldn’t get involved in an internal Bajoran conflict Sisko, you CIA precipitate? Listen, the station moved to the worm hole, I need you to fly it back out of Bajoran air space to execute the complete materiel evacuation you’re positing—
Katy: He can’t hear you.
– It’s not that Sisko is annoying me, it’s that I feel like he’s (somehow!) not even trying not to?
– Sisko’s actor sometimes feels like he’s trying something Shatnerian, but predicated on an odd reading thereof, decades later, and without that underlying theatrical tradition. His line deliveries often feel rather, ‘that was the take you went with? Well, Okay.’
– I don’t know the names of any actors on this show except for Michael Dorn, by the way, and I hope that never changes. I have been actively un-knowing this information for over a decade now, so please do not tell me.
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DS9 S2 Ep 3, “The Siege”
– Keiko telling the truth about Miles O’Brien’s o’fucked priorities.
– Dax/Kira, Jake/Nog and Odo/Quark are all making some good showings this week, here in part 3 of a story that honestly didn’t deserve the real estate.
– You really have to give it up to Kai Winn for finding new ways to be the fucking worst every season. I would never even have forseen the possibility of how shit she is by the end of the show; I lacked the douche vision.
– Odo: I’m a wAaaLl!
– *a hint of bad PR* Wait where did Kai Winn go??
– Every patsy who Kai Winn leaves the hot second things look iffy: “It truly be your own hos that do it to you—”
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DS9 S2 Ep 4, “Invasive Procedures”
– They shouldn’t have aired these two episodes wherein ‘the station has to be evacuated and is left with a skeleton crew, plus Quark, who is fucking about with a Scheme’ back to back.
– Katy points out that Trill are a cool concept, functioning like Time Lords’ regeneration. I wonder if that’s where the Next Generation writers got it from?
– Quark makes hideous keening sex noises to sell this fake injury, and if any benighted soul out there is writing Quark/anyone, these had better feature large.
– This week a random sex worker kicked Kira’s ass, just annihilated her.
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DS9 S2 Ep 5, “Cardassians”
– Here in a rather stupidly-named episode, Space Nie Huaisang makes a mixed race child uncomfortable.
Katy: To be fair to him, Garak’s primarily narrative role is to make everyone uncomfortable.
– A hot tip from me: don’t proprietarily touch random unknown children? If they bite you that is what it is.
– Katy: Anytime Dukat is on the space phone, I flashback to having to talk to a sales rep who’s just lying right to my face.
– Garak gets maximally ‘oh dooooooes he’ regarding Dukat’s ‘I have Legitimate Concerns regarding war orphan repatriation’ spiel.
– Dukat hasn’t bothered learning Bashir’s name. Classique. God I wish that were me.
– Sisko is evidently feeling Feisty about Bashir: asking a reasonable question.
– O’Brien is still very racist against Cardassians; I would not have boarded this kid with them. Even Keiko, who is normally excellent, is being awkward with the child. Again, does Star Fleet not have any form of standard protocol for child welfare issues?
– Garak is here to lisp his way into Bashir’s bedroom and the A-Plot.
– The thing is, I don’t have nearly the time for Garak/Bashir that every other lesbian seems to. Yes, Garak is immensely gay, and yes, that is A Unit of Twink, but Garak could go to any corner shop, they sell them in pairs. So: Nie Huaisang and Arnold Rimmer are on a field trip. Garak steals tens of thousands of records on children with no regard for data protection, and is then nearly forced to have a feeling (for children). Disgusting.
– Someone bothered to write decent lines for Budget Kerr Avon this week, but mostly just for Garak.
– ‘I couldn’t even stay on Bajor, continuing to commit war crimes—too many feelings!!’ – A Cardassian I Am Supposed To Feel Sorry For, I Guess?
– The problem with Dukat—a Nazi—is that this unghostbusted slimer is simply a more compelling actor than the ones portraying most of the main cast. I don’t enjoy that, but here we are.
– Garak is smiling benignly, oozing around the room like a sand worm with a human face. So his Plan is Gelling, I guess.
– O’Brien: I can only imagine how bad this child’s biodad must feel to be told he’s shitty, after doing all those war crimes—
Okay, Miles, thanks for your input.
— Oh my god, Sisko is sending this Bajoran-raised child back to Cardassia? Is he high? What the fuck? This kid’s eventual suicide is on ‘forget about it like the world forgot Sisko’s’ hands, I’m just saying.
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