Setting up Ryder’s Euthanasia and Weighing Her Good Days vs. Her Bad Days

First off, I want to say thank you to everyone for writing to me. The outpouring of your affections and the stories you have shared of your own dogs’ passings have been very helpful and touching, and I appreciate them all. Forgive me for not responding to them. There were many and I have read them all.

We finally were able to set a date with a vet for Ryder’s home euthanasia. It will be this Sunday April 22 at 5. We all tried hard to set a time earlier in the weekend, but drive times for the veterinarian had to be considered.

Working with a vet for home euthanasia has not been easy. I don’t want that to sound like a complaint. It’s not on them. The difficulty lies in two areas: first, because of the pandemic, home euthanasia has grown in popularity. Second, I’ve set my phone to silence calls that aren’t in my contacts list. What this means is that when this new vet calls me, I don’t see it. It took leaving several phone messages and an e-mail before I got it worked out. Again, that’s not on the veterinarian’s office.

We are spending these last few days with Ryder giving her all the treats she wants, showering her with as much affection as she will allow (This is a recurring theme with German Shepherds. The word in the breed description is “aloof.”), and generally enjoying time with her.

I wanted to share some photos from her past, and I hope you will enjoy them. The first set are recent photos I haven’t put on the blog before (except for that one of her hunting bees). The second set of photos have appeared here in earlier posts, but I wanted to collect them together in one place for the sake of remembrance.

Beautiful photos! They were taken by various family members, but I don’t know who took what.

One of the challenging aspects to all of this has been that Ryder still has good days. Look at that photo of her and my son in the bluebonnets. That was Easter, not but a few weeks ago. Those keen eyes! That sleek posture full of purpose and life! Moments like that make the decision difficult. But the reality is that they are blips. The photo of her sacked out on the pillow looking like the world is aligned against her? That’s her most days. For this stage of her life, I have to focus on that photo and remember that one, not the others. I have to remember the weary dog, and I take note of all the times she limps or stands without standing.

So maybe this post didn’t go the way I wanted it to? I wrote it for comfort, but it didn’t end that way. And maybe that is the message here: life doesn’t end the way you want, it just ends. I will have more about her, though. I want to share the story of how she came to us, and I hope to have it out before Sunday. After that, I may take a break from talking about Ryder. We will see.

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