What’s Going On? Why are You Not Blogging?

Image Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9126839/People-share-hilarious-memes-poking-fun-start-2021-claiming-WORSE-version-2020.html

Hi Everyone,

As the title suggests, I imagine that many who have subscribed to the blog (thank you all, by the way!) have been wondering where I am and why, all of a sudden, that I’ve not been blogging on even a semi-consistent schedule. After all, I know have a new(wish) computer (a 2020 MacBook Pro) that I bought for school–and while I still have the Chromebook, I’ve pretty much relegated it to the the “dustbin” (it hasn’t been charged up for most of the year). So, what’s going on, you might ask?

To be absolutely honest, I’m not quite sure. I’m going to try to identify 2 or 3 “big” issues in my life right now, but to be truthful, I don’t know why blogging (and writing in general) has become very difficult lately.

2021 (and 2020)

Let’s just say that 2021 has been a “rough” year so far. I’m typing these words a 3:11 am, and I’m as awake as I would be if it were 12 noon. I don’t drink coffee and I drink only half a can of coke with lunch per day, so caffeine shouldn’t be an issue. However, I routinely don’t sleep through the night anymore.

Obviously, Covid is still a “thing” as I write this. I’m scheduled to get my first vaccination shot tomorrow morning–well, later this morning, now that I think about it, but sticking to my own personal “lockdown” (even at a time when America is rushing headlong into crisis by trying to reopen as fast as humanly possible) is taking a toll. For me, home has always been a respite–a place where I go to unwind from the pressures of the workday (in whatever form it takes, be it from the library, the sixth grade classroom, or the duties of grad student/teaching assistant).

The fact that home, now, has to become the primary place where I work, while great for my peace of mind and my personal safety (I think, with sadness, about the bus driver who sadly lost his life by not having the same advantage I had when Covid first started) it hasn’t been great for my creativity. Obviously, I’m grateful that I’ve not been required to be in the classroom before the vaccine was developed. However, the fact that work-life and home-life are bleeding together makes it hard for me to find the time and the will to do MORE work (aka, the blog–while it is fun, and I’m passionate about writing, make no mistake, this is EXTRA work that I’m doing by writing these entries) on TOP of the work that I’m already required to do–which, now that I’m in the dissertation phase of my education, is legion.

Add to this fact that 2021 seems to be going much worse for me personally than 2020, and you’ll see that the impetus for writing just isn’t there–when you have to spend $200 on a camera system for home security because there are people seeming to be canvasing your house and another $100 for a secure, locking mailbox because other people are attempting to steal your mail looking to steal your identity because your workplace mails you the documents you need to file your takes AND a certificate for an award that you’ve earned is STOLEN in the process, I’d imagine that you’d also get pretty world-weary pretty quickly too.

Dissertation

Speaking of the dissertation earlier, that’s ANOTHER sore spot. While I love my topic and I have an “outline” of what I want to write, actually finding the time to write is another point of friction. Part of the issue is that “writing” a dissertation, doesn’t include JUST writing–you’ve also got to be reading, and taking notes, and writing, and noting sources, and citing, and . . ., and . . ., and . . . . It’s never ending, and worse yet, if you’re NOT doing one of these myriad of things, then you’re just feeling GUILTY because you COULD be doing them, instead of eating, instead of grading, instead of relaxing after a 6 hour shift in the Writing Center (online), etc.

Writing a dissertation is like having a paper that is ALWAYS due. You know it’s there, you know you should be working on it, and it basically demands EVERY bit of free time that you have or, (yep, you guessed it) here comes the guilt for NOT working on it. Add to that the obligation of being in the Writing Center, and teaching a course (as I’m doing both remotely this semester), and well, things get very dicey, very quickly. Add to that a myriad of other responsibilities, such as moderating my first conference sessions and working on various committee for both church and school, and things become even MORE problematic.

Even my creative writing has suffered under the groaning weight of too many responsibilities and not enough delineation between my work-life and my home-life.

If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . .

Finally, while I’ve had more medical issues (again mostly minor, but just as annoying), really, they’ve not affected my desire to blog as much as this final topic–I have a LOT to say about quite a few things, but, unfortunately, they are mostly negative.

While I don’t use my blog for political sentiments (I leave that to others), I’ve noticed that there have been some trends lately that I REALLY want to call attention to in the general culture (popular culture) which IS part of the purpose of the blog. The problem is that these AREN’T good trends and I feel like I’ll be just like everyone else on the on the internet–“Mr. Negative”–yelling at people to stop being idiots.

Case in point–I just read two news stories about Playstation and Microsoft. One article called out the very “narrative” (that Sony isn’t just focusing on blockbusters as it reorganizes some of its studios) while another article sang the praises of Microsoft and totally “trashed” Sony for reorganizing its older storefronts. It was truly a sight to behold–and you could CLEARLY see each author’s biases on display (and might I remind you that these are video game journalists), supposed “adult” professionals who are acting much like school kids on a playground “discussing” the merits of their favorite systems.

Another case in point–the Cyberpunk 2077 situation and the way both journalists and the public handled the marketing and then then reality of the game. I’ve written a draft post about this and may go back in and clean it up and release it, but the lack of skepticism that both the journalists and the public showed about the game before its release was appalling. There’s a reason why PT Barnum is reported to have said: “There’s a sucker born every minute,” and the way people (journalists along with the public) ate up the game’s 48 minute “gameplay demo” AND Keeanu Reeve’s appearance to promote the game on Microsoft’s stage (see, no video game “journalist” talks about that little fact) really irks me. Yet, the gameplay demo was a “lie” and the game wasn’t the same game as what was MARKETED. I want to talk about these things, but as they tend to be negative, I don’t want to contribute to the “angry internet troll” meme. However, I do really feel these things need to be pointed out and so I’m often conflicted–I’ll spend an hour or two that I can’t “afford” in order to write a draft post, only to then not release it because it sounds too negative after its written (I’ve got 3 or 4 like that right now).

So, I’m trying to work through this as well. Hopefully, one day soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe not, I’ll get back to a more regular schedule, and then back to pretty much a daily schedule, but for now, please understand that this year just doesn’t seem to be going particularly well for me at the moment and that I’m trying to figure out how to do all the things I’m supposed to do at the same time. Bad year(s) + Bad culture = Bad blogging habits.

I hope this helps to explain why I’ve not been post regularly and thanks for listening!

Sidney

Please consider supporting these fine small press publishers where my work has appeared:

Read Skin Deep for Free at Aurora WolfRead Childe Roland for Free at Electric SpecPurchase  HawkeMoon  on Amazon.com (Paperback) or eBookPurchase  Dragonhawk  on Amazon.com (Paperback) or KindlePurchase  WarLight  on Amazon.com (Paperback) or KindlePurchase  Ship of Shadows  on Amazon.com (Paperback) or KindlePurchase  Faerie Knight  on Amazon.com (Paperback) or KindleCurrently Working On (April 2021):Unhallowed (Weird Western Story)
In for Revision & EditingStarlight, Starbright (Science Fiction Story)
In for Revision & EditingThe Independent (Science Fiction Story)
Out to MarketTo Dance the Sea of Storms (Fantasy Story)
Prewrite: Completed, Plan & Outline: Completed, Write a first draft: Completed, Revision: In Progress