Why I have lost the will to Write.

Pullout my laptop and wireless keyboard, blowing off the dust and then waiting for the computer to boot up, which was like waiting for a 386 to come alive (that is an old person reference). It made me realise that I might not have done any writing for a long time. There are reasons which I will touch on in this blog, but I don’t want to make this a morose blog, only a learning experience for future self-published authors.

If we have to start anywhere, it would be the dedication page of my novel, Lake Merrin. It states:

 I would like to dedicate this to my friends. Kstar, Hobbit, Khaos, Carebear, Raccoon and Kiba. As this story would not have existed without you.

Obviously, my friends had a hand in helping the world-building Favinonia but supported my writing of the said novel. Lake Merrin was published in 2017, and many things have changed. Only one of the six is still a friend, two outright slammed my creative expression, and the others fell to oblivion. I only realised this when a now close friend mentioned ‘How was my writing going?’, and I cried for the loss of passion for my creative spirit. Again this is only one of the reasons.

The next section of my dedication I will like to state is:

 I would also like to thank my Publisher, believing in me.

I will not name my Publisher, but a simple search would find the name of the company. Did they support me? My oath they did, even when I should have been thrown aside because of my depression. The thing is, they started small, and I felt comfortable talking to my publishers about my hopes and dreams of future works. Unfortunately, they have gotten so large and focus on more non-fiction that they are no longer a fit for me. I will remember the past fondly, but I can’t live in their publishing present.

The next is about selling my books, and yes, I do have multiply published books. You hit a wall as a self-published author, libraries and bookstores. They will not accept your book period! There are other ways to move your blood, sweat and tears, creative expression, Conventions. They, unfortunately, are hit and miss. Each year I barely made back the money to pay for the booth, let alone the books, flyers and other expenses.

With all this negativity, where should I go from here? My decision was to start back to my roots, which was dungeons and dragons. Creating stories that a few can enjoy and maybe motivate my flagging creativity. I do have some fans, not many, but they have been very passionate about my books. All I can give them is an undying thanks.

I hope future authors learn that there is a wall, and sometimes you have to go back to basics to get through to inspire your passion and creativity. #passioninspirecreate