Dear Cassey: It feels like I’m not good enough

Dear Cassey, Lately, I’ve been dealing with feeling like I’m not good enough and am falling behind in life. I took longer than my friends to graduate and get a degree that I can’t really get a well-paying job with. I have a BS in Exercise Science and it’s a stepping stone degree. Long story short, I thought I wanted to be a Physical Therapist but changed my mind. All of my friends have well-paying jobs while I’m at a job where most of the time I feel overworked, underappreciated, and underpaid. They have their own places (I still live at home at 27 years old,) and are either engaged or married (I’ve been single for most of my life.) I can’t stop thinking things like “maybe if I chose a different degree, this wouldn’t be so hard and I’d have a better paying job,” or “maybe if I was prettier, skinnier, and blonder then guys would notice me and I won’t end up alone.” I just feel like I’m getting buried by all of my self-doubt, comparison, and almost anxiety of thinking about the future. Any advice on how to overcome these and to see the brighter side of things? Thank you and all my hugs, Worried I’m Falling Short

Dear Worried,

I hear you.

Your thoughts, doubts, and fears actually sound VERY familiar to thoughts I’ve had myself. And here is the most important thing I want you to know – there is no such thing as “not good enough” or “falling behind in life.”

See, we’re all on different paths. Every single one of us. Even though it seems like there’s this magical timeline we’re supposed to follow to feel like we’re winning at life… in reality, it doesn’t actually exist.

I think pretty much everyone goes through times like this!! Even the people who seem to have it all together sometimes wonder if they should have done something differently. There’s just no avoiding it!

So no, you are NOT falling behind on life and you ARE 10000% good enough. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Even though it feels like these thoughts are consuming you, you don’t have to accept them. In fact, allowing yourself to think this way is pretty much just you getting in your own way. And we can’t have that!

So how do you get out of this weird funk? It’s all about MINDSET. And changing your mindset is a practice. It’s part of self-care.

Look for the positive in EVERY situation that makes you feel not good enough.

You’re unhappy with your job and your degree: Having ANY degree is an amazing accomplishment. Also a degree, no matter what it is, opens doors for you.

You live with your parents: Which might also mean you’re saving money for big moves later!

You’re single: You know how to live independently, which is so important. The relationship you want is out there, and you’ll be ready when you find it.

So no matter your situation, your doubts, or your fears, try to look for at least one positive. There is always a silver lining and an opportunity for growth and change. Which brings me to my next thought – You are in control of your life! Remember when I mentioned that any degree opens doors for you? Keep your eyes open for your door OR create your own door! It might be something you aren’t expecting, but I promise it’s out there… if you’re open to putting in the work. And from one girl who was once lost and confused about what to do with her life to another, the work is definitely worth it.

So again, your journey is your own. And you decide where to go with it! You’ve got this!

PS – If you have a burning question you want to ask me, leave your questions below! I may answer it in an upcoming Dear Cassey post!