You Cannot Shut This Up!
One of my most frustrating experiences as a teacher of writing is when I stand in front of students and watch them snuff silent their inner voices.
I've heard many excuses:
I'll hurt someone if I say the truth.
What if people stop loving me?
Who wants to hear my story?
No one will like me anymore.
This list is inexhaustible.
And, unfortunately, these terrifying beliefs can hold a truth about a real outcome. However, for someone aching to write the truth about his or her own life and not doing it can be crippling. This is where holding onto painful secrets makes emotional disease.
I wish I had a magic pill for this level of self-oppression but the only magic I know is to pick up the pen and write. There is something wonderful that occurs when you can see your words in your own handwriting spill the secret onto the page. To see the secret exposed is like watching the wicked witch of the west get doused with a bucket of water.
So if you are one of those self-oppressed writers who has difficulty coming to grips with wanting or needing to write and expose something you lived through, think of this: you can always burn the pages, bury them with prayers, shred them with your old checks, put them in a safe-deposit box. This is your experience and you can take control of them in whatever way you see fit. Keeping the experience a secret simply maintains the secret's control over you.
Sometimes the worst fear happens. Someone gets hurt or someone doesn't speak to you anymore. But hurt feelings can be repaired and forgiveness can take place. Often that process takes time but you deserve to be released from a gripping painful secret. And if you have a burning ache to let go of the experience through writing--know this: writing does not mean making it public for all to read. Do something with the pages so no one can read them.
Don't go it alone. Get support from a friend or other writers. Email me and let me walk you through it. I've seen many good books not get written because the fear of unwanted outcomes overrides a healthy decision to face the truth. And sometimes, by putting events out in the open that were known by others anyway get healed and everyone benefits.
It's your call. Summon your courage, write, then decide what you want to do with your work. But first - write!
Until next time,
Jan
www.JanMarquart.com
I've heard many excuses:
I'll hurt someone if I say the truth.
What if people stop loving me?
Who wants to hear my story?
No one will like me anymore.
This list is inexhaustible.
And, unfortunately, these terrifying beliefs can hold a truth about a real outcome. However, for someone aching to write the truth about his or her own life and not doing it can be crippling. This is where holding onto painful secrets makes emotional disease.
I wish I had a magic pill for this level of self-oppression but the only magic I know is to pick up the pen and write. There is something wonderful that occurs when you can see your words in your own handwriting spill the secret onto the page. To see the secret exposed is like watching the wicked witch of the west get doused with a bucket of water.
So if you are one of those self-oppressed writers who has difficulty coming to grips with wanting or needing to write and expose something you lived through, think of this: you can always burn the pages, bury them with prayers, shred them with your old checks, put them in a safe-deposit box. This is your experience and you can take control of them in whatever way you see fit. Keeping the experience a secret simply maintains the secret's control over you.
Sometimes the worst fear happens. Someone gets hurt or someone doesn't speak to you anymore. But hurt feelings can be repaired and forgiveness can take place. Often that process takes time but you deserve to be released from a gripping painful secret. And if you have a burning ache to let go of the experience through writing--know this: writing does not mean making it public for all to read. Do something with the pages so no one can read them.
Don't go it alone. Get support from a friend or other writers. Email me and let me walk you through it. I've seen many good books not get written because the fear of unwanted outcomes overrides a healthy decision to face the truth. And sometimes, by putting events out in the open that were known by others anyway get healed and everyone benefits.
It's your call. Summon your courage, write, then decide what you want to do with your work. But first - write!
Until next time,
Jan
www.JanMarquart.com
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