My HP ficsHey hey! From about 2003-2006, I was very involved in the Harry Potter fandom, with a...

My HP fics

Hey hey! 

From about 2003-2006, I was very involved in the Harry Potter fandom, with a trickling out of activity in the three years following that. I believe the last fic I wrote in that fandom was in 2010, and it definitely felt like an extra, very much last burst of will to make that one happen. The fandom was dwindling, JKR was JKR-ing, and people were already starting to move off the main fora: LJ for the social side, and a veritable flurry of archive choices. My main one had always been skyehawke.com. 

I got busy with my masters degree and life in a different city, and thought I’d moved on. Then, in the spring of 2013, I moved cities again, discovered the massive talents of Benedict Cumberbatch and thereby, Sherlock, and suddenly discovered that I wanted to start writing again. It was bewildering, because in that time, I’d lost contact with everyone I’d ever known in the fanworld in general, and a huge migration had happened - from LJ to tumblr, and from every archive to ao3. I didn’t know if anyone would even read something I wrote, especially as a newbie in a brand new fandom. I was startled to find that some people remembered me, and had also come over to the Sherlock fandom. As I started reconnecting with people, some of them started asking me if I was going to bring all of my HP material over to ao3. I always said no, immediately. I had lots of reasons: 

the fics were old, and the oldest of those were frankly not very goodI had no interest in either promoting them, or engaging with readers about them anymoreJKR is JKR, and she rather spoiled the fandom backwards for me. Between her unapologetic and highly public transphobia, her active queerbaiting in making characters gay after the fact without any overt inclusion of that in her canon, including in films she was involved in writing/making after said statements, and her active loathing for the fandom, especially the slash side of it, which was obviously what fuelled the epilogue that made writing Harry/literally anyone so much harder than it needed to be, I just decided I was outit would have been a lot of work to reformat the stories, and there are a lot of them. I had written 1.7 words of fiction in that fandom, spread out over 105 individual stories, so yeah: a lot of work. Plus, I was painfully aware that many of them had many typos, and I wouldn’t have wanted to bring them to a new archive and thereby potentially a new audience in that state, so: even more work

However, not actively wanting to promote that work is a very different thing from not wanting to HAVE that work, or allow anyone else to have access to it ever again, so I had always said that I would let the entire collection stand, as is, on skyehawke.com. 

Skyehawke finally crashed for apparently the final time about two weeks ago. There was no warning from the archive owner, no chance for anyone to pull any of their unsaved stuff. Some of my stuff is so old that it was literally saved on floppy disks. The rest was saved on the hard drives of laptops now long gone. I was devastated. Rather than posting about it on here, I made my first post on LJ in literal years, asking without much hope if anyone happened to have saved a copy of any of my stuff, just wanting to see if I could regain any of it. 

What I received was yet another outpouring of the kind of fandom generosity that always just floors me. People linked me to reddit searches of my stuff, pointed me to the Wayback Machine (which I had never heard of, lol), sent me entire google drives, emailed me one or twelve or sixty files of my stories. Some emailed or commented on the post only to express their sympathies and best hopes for document recovery. It’s 48 hours later now, and I got every single word back. It took me hours and hours of downloading or copy/pasting from Wayback, but I have it all back now. 

So, I made a decision: I’m changing my mind. Some of these stories still make me cringe, and it will be HEAPS of work, but in gratitude for all of this, I AM going to upload my HP material to ao3, after all. It’s going to take me a lot of time, because if I’m going to do it, then I might as well make it typo-free, or as typo-free as I can. I need to reformat it anyway, so why not? That said, I’m going to hold off on starting this project until I’ve finished my current Sherlock story.

This community, of fandom in general, is beyond amazing. It’s a stronger network of humanity and good will than I’ve ever found anywhere else and I’m so grateful to have this in my life. I once thought that I had “moved on” from fandom or outgrown it in some way, but that was an immature thought: fandom is for anyone, at any age, and even if I were to lose interest in whatever my current fandom is, I would stay for the community. Thank you for existing. Thank you for all your friendship, support, readership, and all of the fanwork you folks put out into this world, too. I love you all. <333333333333333333333333