How to Write a Book in 5 Not-So-Easy Steps

Seasoned writers and newbies alike are always looking for easier ways to write a novel. Well, I’m here today to share my method…and I don’t recommend it. Really. Don’t do this.

Step 1: “What if I Can’t Do This Again?” Procrastination

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My least favorite part of the writing process is starting a new book. It’s terrifying, and I waste at least a week every time being too scared to start.

Step 2: Research Rabbit Hole

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I honestly love this step, but it’s a time suck to beat all time sucks. But it’s SO. MUCH. FUN! I mean, I definitely need to know how to perform battlefield surgery. And how to make a bomb… the most effective way to disperse a bioweapon…the ins & outs of kidnap and ransom insurance… suitcase nukes….

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(Yes, my Google history has most definitely landed me on a government watch list.)

Step 3: Start book. Delete. Start over. Delete. Start over. Delete.

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This. Step. Is. Hell.

Step 4: The 40K Word Slump Netflix Binge

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At about the halfway point, I run out of steam and end up doing everything in my power to avoid writing. This usually means Netflix binges. (Hello, The Great British Baking Show!) But it can also mean cleaning the house, the toilet, the litter box. The Boyfriend always knows when I hit this stage because the house is never cleaner and I spend most my time complaining about how much I hate the book.

Step 5: Frantic Typing To The End

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There are copious amounts of caffeine and candy involved in this stage. It usually lasts about a week and I probably write 30 to 40% of the book in that time.

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So why do I put myself through this over and over again?

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