The Fiver | Unconscionably naff nonsense that has to stop

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It was a super Sunday for the Queen’s Celtic, as far as The Fiver can make out. Their latest dismal attempt to convert any, just one, of a bucketload of gilt-edged chances, this time at Dundee United, means they’ll be spared the ignominy of the Pope’s Newc O’Rangers securing the title and gambolling like giddy goats at Parkhead in a fortnight’s time. But if that wasn’t enough cause for celebration, Sunday’s result also rubber-stamped the club’s failure to erase the greatest team in the history of Scottish football from the record books by surpassing their nine in a row. Hats off to $tevie Mbe for ensuring that Jock Stein’s legends remain in the pantheon. A belated nod to Wim Jansen, too, come to think about it.

Related: 'It's incomparable' – Rangers fans' journey from Brechin to another title

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