To Do My Own Thing

"Before you take one single positive action I want to be informed. I don't want to see any rings on the water or hear a single ruffled feather."

-Stieg Larsson
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

Twenty-five years ago today

February 17, 1987
Tuesday

I was bummed out today. I hate working in the Pac Bell Directory Account Collection Office now. I want commission sales and I now find myself fantasizing about the idea of selling jewelry. Michael Dawkins had mentioned it. He is part owner of THE M GALLERY in Los Angeles. I verified it. I guess I could sell jewelry as easily as I could sell yellow page advertising.
I called a number in Los Angeles about MALE MODELS wanted for cards and magazines. I was told I could get up to seven-hundred and fifty dollars every time my work is used in a card or mag. What a deal! I had lull time at work and I found actress Joan Collins home telephone number. I called and left a message on her answering service machine but she didn't call me back. What if she did? Yikes.

I wrote to Gary, the dreamy green-eyed bartender, at THE RAGE in West Hollywood.

I also sent William J Bell, the creator of the soap-opera, The Young and the Restless a photo and a 'consider me' note. I just have the L.A. 'blues and wants' now that I am not there. I feel as though I want to break away from the Pac Bell environment and do something new. I'd like to do my own thing. And yet…I don't know. I need the "right" offer to feel comfortable about it.

I love the line at the bottom of this page in my journal book:
"The next best thing to being rich is traveling as though you were."
-Stephen Birnbaum, b. 1937 d. 1991
American editor and writer

Carla Guzman certainly makes work much more bearable. I have to be thankful for her presence. I bought some U.S. stamps during a walk to the U.S. post-office with her. She's in love now.
"Oh Michael, I'm in love. I love Augustine! I think he's going to marry me!"
I thought to myself, "Give me a break. She's just on a temporary cloud nine. I know the feeling."

Michael Amadeo, the real estate fellow of Amadeo Associates in San Francisco (and friend of Steve Flander) called me and left a message about wanting to meet-up again this Wednesday night. What gives? I may give him a call. He's kind of older though. And he acts a tad too femme for me. What does it matter that he has a seven-year old daughter?

I called Eileen Grabinsky but she wasn't home at 8PM.

I spoke to Mark Landreth and gave him some tidbits of my spur-of-the-moment adventure trip to L.A.
He immediately asked jealously, "Did you see Annabelle?"
"No, but I met a looker named Nerine Kidd!"

I noticed Debra Tucker, Mark's "ugh" chic, at the gym. I ignored the sighting of her just as she avoided me.

Next week I escape for the Hawaiian island for another fantasy trip. Life moves on. I am still living off the trippy L.A. fantasy.

I should discuss the idea of moving to Los Angeles with mom. What would she say? Or should I just visit Los Angeles once-a-month and get more familiar? That may be a good plan.

But he didn't really have a good idea how to respond.
-John Katzenbach, THE ANALYST