WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at an SF Short Story Opening

Critique by Maria D'Marco

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Zero

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are open.

This week’s questions:

I'm wondering about the voice of the narrator. Is it funny, hokey, overdone, stupid? In short, does it work? There's some spots where the narrator is telling rather than showing, but in 1st person, it often seems more realistic to 'just say it.' Do you agree? And the practical stuff: Do you want to read the rest of the story? Would you want to read more stories told by this narrator? Did it make you start to chuckle?

Market/Genre: Science Fiction Short Story

On to the diagnosis…

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com