Lessons I didn’t learn in Sunday School
Lessons I didn’t learn in Sunday School – Tamar
Most Christians are familiar with the most popular stories taught in Sunday School. But as adults, what can we learn from those lessons? As a child I sat in Sunday School class listening to the different stories without realizing the impact on my attitudes and belief, but wasn’t that the point? What we are taught as a child tends to stick with us. Unfortunately, some of those lessons are not healthy. I’m examining some of the teachings to analyze what the motive was behind the story and its impact on our culture.
In the Jewish culture the Promised Land was one of the most important aspects of their lives. They were ordered not to marry anyone of another faith and the land was to be kept within the tribes and families. A woman’s primary purpose was to provide an heir for that inheritance of land and different rules were enforced to make sure she fulfilled this purpose.
In the Story of Ruth, she was able to marry a near kinsman and raise up an heir to her dead husband. This ancient custom was told earlier in Genesis 38: 1-30. It also reveals obligations to fulfill this promise and the dire consequences if they were not.
Judah, the eldest son of Jacob, had three sons. Er is married to Tamar but because he is wicked, the Lord slays him making Tamar a widow without any children. The second son, Onan, marries Tamar as promised by Judah but spills his seed on the ground because the child would inherit Er’s property. The Lord strikes him dead for refusing to raise up an heir to Er. Then his third son, Shelah, grows up but is not given to Tamar as Judah promised.
Failure to keep a promise is important in this story but there is another aspect for women.
Judah’s wife dies, and he travels to join the sheepshearers. Tamar disguises herself as a harlot and Judah sleeps with her without recognizing her. She takes his signet and bracelets and staff as a pledge for payment of a lamb, but she returns home before Judah can redeem them. Three months later, Judah finds out Tamar is pregnant from the other women in his tribe and plans to burn her to death. She shows him his possessions and he acknowledges that she is righteous but he never sleeps with her again. She gives birth to twins.
If Tamar hadn’t taken Judah’s tokens, she could have been burned to death for sex outside of marriage. In Deuteronomy 22 the punishment for being a harlot is stoning to death and in Leviticus 21 the punishment for the daughter of a priest who is a harlot is burning her to death. This was not a quick and merciful death. Think about how many stones it would take to kill you and the pain inflicted until death. And burned alive would be the last choice of death for nearly everyone. You would think with such a harsh punishments, prostitution and sex outside of marriage would have ceased a long ago. There were other rules that treated women unfairly.
If a woman was raped in the city and didn’t cry out, she and the man were stoned to death. If she was in the field and no one heard her, only the man was stoned to death. But if she was a virgin, then the man had to marry her and pay the father fifty shekels.
Ancient punishments should not be the guidelines for modern crimes but they have influenced modern cultures. These laws help to explain the attitude toward rape. If a woman doesn’t fight back, is she guilty of adultery or willing? And what rape victim wants to marry her rapist? The rape victim was often treated like a criminal and how often has a woman’s cries of rape been twisted to make her the manipulator of revenge or “regret sex?”
What should a woman be valued for?
In John 8:11the pharissees and scribes bring a prostitute before Jesus and say she was caught in the act. They quote Leviticus 20:10 which requires both the man and woman be put to death but no man is brought before Jesus. Did he escape or did they let him go?
Already there is a double standard for adultery because the law isn’t imposed equally. They are willing to stone a woman to death but not the man. Jesus tells the crowd, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” Is this a reminder not to judge others?
Jesus doodles in the dirt and when he looks up, the crowd is gone. He tells her he doesn’t condemn her and to sin no more. We know she will sin. Everyone does so what does “sin no more” mean? I think it is a second chance to live a righteous life. Her crime wasn’t worthy of death. It matches the teachings of forgiveness.
What do we learn from this? Harsh punishments were created to deter sin but it didn’t work. Most criminals don’t think they will get caught and in today’s world, if someone has money or power, they can get away with crime. I agree that if someone is dangerous to others, they should be put in a prison or hospital, but are there alternative punishments for crimes?
What old rules or customs have influenced your way of thinking about marriage, sex, or relationships? How many of those beliefs were rooted in a religious teachings? Are they logical, fair, and out of love for one another?
