Exercise 18 – Change Your Scene by Changing Your Tone
Exercise: Write the same scene in three different ways to hone your skills.
If you read Lesson 26, you’ll know how important it is to let your story’s tension build. The same goes for scenes. Start small, then ratchet up the tension. On the other hand, it’s possible to have the opposite problem: your story starts at and stays at zero tension. That’s a surefire way to make your audience lose interest. What you want to do is write enough tension to keep the readers engaged, then end with something strong.
One way to hone your skills is to write the same scene in three different ways by focusing on three different emotions: anger, fear, and romance. Obviously, the point of the scene will change as you write, but use these underlying emotions to lend dynamics to what is going on.
For example:
Here’s a simple scene: A man and a woman sit in a diner drinking coffee. I’ll be using the woman’s POV throughout.
Anger: Jill stared at her coffee mug and resisted the urge to check her watch. He was late. Again. Typical, she thought when she finally spotted Tim. He walked in leisurely, as if he hadn’t kept her waiting twenty minutes.
“I was just about to leave,” she snapped when he sat across from her.
“Am I late?” he asked, all innocence.
That comment went straight to her heart, summing up their five-year marriage. Her shouldering the burden of the relationship. Him not caring.
Jill threw a five on the table and grabbed her purse. “I can’t do this any more,” she said and left without a backwards glance.
Fear: Even though she sat in the back corner of the diner, Jill worried that someone – something – would sneak up on her. She kept her eyes fixed on the door, worried that Tim wouldn’t show. He’d promised that he’d help, but what if he didn’t. Or, worse yet, couldn’t.
Her hands trembled as she picked up her mug and sipped the coffee, long gone cold. Feeling the waitress’s eyes on her, Jill tugged her scarf more securely around her neck. What she wouldn’t give to be invisible. Please come soon, she begged Tim mentally.
When she finally saw him coming through the door, it took all her will power not to rush to meet him. Even so, she grabbed his hand when he sat across from her. “You’re finally here,” she said. For the first time in weeks, she felt safe.
Romance: For the tenth time since coming into the diner, Jill checked her makeup in the mirror she kept in her purse. Her makeup was on point, but was that a blemish on her forehead? Please don’t let Tim notice. Today had to be perfect.
She’d gotten to the diner twenty minutes early just so that she would appear calm and collected. Unfortunately, her plan didn’t quell the butterflies in her stomach. Her entire future hinged on this meeting. Yes, she and Tim had been law partners for three years, but today she planned to confess her true feelings.
When she saw him coming through the door, her heart tripped over itself. He was tall, broad shoulders, with just enough stubble on his chin to give him a devil-may-care appearance. When he slid into the booth across from her, he offered a killer smile. “Hey.”
Blood rushed to Jill’s cheeks, and for a moment she couldn’t speak. She was so lucky to have someone like him in her life. Hopefully, he felt the same way.
Now it’s your turn! Try writing a short scene with three different tones and see where it takes you. If you write something you really like, feel free to share in the comments.
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