Valentine and Single – It Really is Okay

There are a few days a year when relationship status is put on the forefront of the majority of social media accounts.

Today I have seen many posts from friends and family members of their valentine. I am glad that so many people in my circle have someone to tag in a post.

But I hope that this isn’t just a customary post one day a year. I hope they tell their valentine they are their valentine more than once a year. I hope the posts are not fraudulent attempts to pretend everything is okay to make the world believe they have everything they want and need.

I was talking to someone about being single in the last week. I am happy being single. Very happy.

But as a single person I sometimes get the fifth degree on my relationship status. Why aren’t you married yet? Are you seeing anyone? Why not? Are you happy? Really?

I get questioned by married people as if I’m a new species or they are conducting a experiment and they are trying to figure me out. As if they will figure out why I haven’t become like them and then they can fix me.

I don’t think I’m alone in this line of questioning after talking to other less fortunate singles – sarcasm.

One of my favorite scenes in a movie showcasing this is the dinner party scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary when Bridget is the only single person at the dinner. Everyones attention turns to her to answer the agonizing question why there are so many single women these days.

She laughs, “Oh, I don’t know. I suppose it doesn’t help that underneath our clothes our entire bodies are covered in scales.”

I poke fun because I am content and blissfully happy with my lack of a relationship status. But I know that I am a rare exception.

Many single people dread Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or basically any holiday or special occasion when their lack of a significant other will be showcased and they are still alone among the masses of couples. But they don’t post about this because once again they would be telling the mostly coupled world they are alone.

So for the people who have someone this Valentine’s Day, I hope you have a great one. For the people who do not have someone, I still hope you have a great one.

If you can only find happiness because of a ring on your finger, then I’m sorry. Your happiness shouldn’t depend on having someone. It should depend on you liking yourself and that other person is just icing on your valentine cake.

If I could ask for one thing this valentine it would be for people with someone to not look at someone who doesn’t have someone with pity.

Don’t look down on someone if they are alone or think you are better because you have someone.

Single people can read that look of pity as if a spotlight is shining on your face. If they are already having a bad day, your judgmental look isn’t going to make them feel better. It will make them feel worse.

Just treat a single like any other person. Married people tend to flock together in herds. So if you see a single person alone in the middle of the room, don’t watch them like a lion scoping out a gazelle. Walk over to them, be friendly and polite. Talk to them like you would your married friend – I know it may be hard, but they do speak the same language as you. Marriednese isn’t a real language and neither is singlenese.

Invite them to dinner or for a coffee. You may realize they aren’t covered in scales. They are just a misunderstood single person.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Peace

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