Your Heart's Desires: How To Reconnect When You've Lost Touch

--by Nancy Hausauer

Desire, especially the deep desire that comes from your heart and soul, is a powerful energetic force. It's the life force at work in us and arguably the root of all movement and everything that happens. Desire gives us a trajectory in life. Without it, we can feel lost, rudderless, stuck, like we're spinning our wheels.

Some people seem to be full of desires. They always know what they want, and they go after it. Others of us can get disconnected from our heart's desires, like people with treasure buried in the back yard, but we've lost the map. If that's the case for you, here are some exercises to try:

Four Exercises For Uncovering Your Heart's Desires

If you can't identify any deep desires, work with some of your more casual wants. For example, maybe you've been wishing for a new car. Consider this: When we want something, often what we really want is the way we hope it'll make us feel. (Danielle Laporte writes eloquently about this.) Try this exercise based on that idea.

Identify something, anything, that you want. Drill deeper into it. Daydream--vividly--about how you'll feel when you have it. When you've identified those feelings, write them down.

Now brainstorm other ways you might be able to generate those same feelings.

Once you get the hang of that, dream bigger. Have fun with this. Be outrageous and bold. Does anything here inspire you? If so, work with it. If not, you've identified a way you want to FEEL, and that's important information.



Try coming at it from the flip side.

Identify some things you DON'T want. What bothers you, annoys you, makes you want to scream? Write those things down.
For each "Don't Want," journal about the most fabulously different situation--including the feelings-- you can imagine. Again, dream big, get detailed, and have fun. You may get some clues to your desires in there.
Get some energy moving by changing some of those "don't-wants"!

Pay attention to what you're curious about. Those tendrils of interest are clues to passions that may be hiding or growing in you. Follow up on them. Though not every passing curiosity will lead to a grand passion, a) it's fun; b) it might lead to larger passions; and c) it cultivates our life force and gives us practice in noticing our inner leanings.


Check your calendar and to-do list. Are you over-committed, especially to helping other people fulfill their desires? Is your to-do list full of "shoulds"? Duty and passion rarely overlap much. Prune your commitments and to-do list and see what happens.




Practical Suggestions
And finally, if feeling disconnected from your desires has gone on for a long time:

Get a health checkup.
Get screened for depression.

A final word: Is it possible you're just contented with your life right now? Is so, nothing to be fixed there!

Wishing you desire,

Nancy