Michael’s Really Useful Technology Wish List

Hmmm, will anyone listenif I requisition some truly useful technology?

I often use this forumto express my displeasure with modern technology. But today I am changing thingsup with a wish list of technology I would endorse and even part with my hardearned money to acquire. So, all you developers, get working on these ideas pronto.

THELOTTO MAX DREAM COACH FILTER

The technology exists tomonitor my Internet viewing patterns and display ads for products thatcorrespond to my interests. I see it at work every day. They ought to be ableto reconfigure that technology to filter out television commercials that annoyme beyond measure.

A few examples: theLotto Max dream coach guy, the Sportsnet life coach guy, the “we’ve made anotherbig change at Burger King” guy, the Old Spice “Yes, that is my lavender scenteddeodorant” guy… I could go on, but you get the point.

PISSME-OFF EMAIL BLOCKER

E-mail spam and virusfilters are standard issue these days. I would like one of them to becustomized to measure my blood pressure as e-mails come in, correlate that datato the sender and use an algorithm to block e-mails from people whoparticularly piss me off.

This does not apply toanyone reading this post (except for you – you know who you are!) oranyone who is higher on the company food chain than I am.

FOUNDBETWEEN THE PIXELS APP

I am not a big appperson. But I would be totally on board with an app that scours the web formoney lost between the pixels and deposits that money in my bank account. Thedeposits would need to be done in small increments so as not to raise a redflag and, of course, be totally untraceable by authorities.

POLITICIANBRAIN CELL BLASTER MICROCHIP

A simple concept: amicrochip embedded into the brain of politicians that detects when they are aboutto make a promise they do not intend to keep, break a promise, tell a whitelie, misrepresent statistics or deny and deflect blame for a mistake. Thismicrochip would send an electrical impulse that fries the brain cells wherethat thought exists.

It is a given that this microchipwould wear out quickly from overuse and need to be replaced annually. Inaddition, politicians with the microchip would not be able to serve more thantwo terms since they would not have enough brain cells left to continue inoffice.

I have heard it saidthat technology is a steam roller. You can either drive it or become part ofthe road. Give me the technology I have asked for and I will drive it until thecows come home!

~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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