Had a chance to test my Madonna theory

Back when I was live-blogging the Super Bowl, I opined that teenagers today had no idea who the people she named in "Vogue" were. Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Gene Kelly, Bette Davis: all these and more had no meaning.

Well, I was at the supermarket yesterday, and the cashier seemed quite young. And at a supermarket checking out groceries is pretty much the only circumstance under which some random middle aged guy can idly chat with a teen girl (she turned out to be seventeen) and not have it come across as creepy. As she ran the items across the scanner, I said, "Hey…you know the Madonna song, 'Vogue?'"

"No."

That caught me flat-footed. The question was actually rhetorical, a preamble to the more pertinent point. But not only did she not know the song, I also got the impression that she was vague as to who Madonna was at all. "She sang it during the halftime show at the Super Bowl."

"Yeah, I saw that, and everyone was singing along, and I was just…" She shrugged. I wasn't clear whether "everyone" meant the fans at the stadium or if she was at a Super Bowl party.

So at least she had been exposed to the song. I decided to mush on. "I was just wondering if the names she rattled off during the song meant anything to you. Fred Astaire?" Head shake. "Gene Kelly, Ginger Rogers?" Nothing. "Bette Davis?"

"Her I know!" she said cheerfully.

"Really? You know Bette Davis?"

"Yes. And Joan Rivers."

I know what you're thinking. I wasn't seeing a connection either. As I slid my ATM through the reader to pay for the purchases, I said, "Uh…Bette Davis was an actress; Joan Rivers is a comedienne. I'm just curious why–?"

"They're both old women."

"Okay, well, except Bette Davis is dead, but that's–"

"Wait," she said. "I meant Betty White. I don't know who Bette Davis is." She paused and, seeing I looked slightly crestfallen–I think she wanted me to feel not quite so old–she said chipperly, "I know who Farrah Fawcett was! Does that help?"

I didn't bother to ask if she knew that at one point the actress' name was Farrah Fawcett-Majors, because I was fairly certain she'd never heard of Lee Majors. Although she might know who Steve Austin was. Everyone knows that. He's a wrestler.

I'll tell you one thing–I'm going to make damned sure Caroline is properly educated in the greatness of old movies. The other day I had her watch "Oklahoma." She was resistant to it at first, but slowly she got pulled in by the story and characters. She was fascinated by the dream ballet (which had always bored me when I was that age) and she kept asking about various developments of the story (although explaining the shivaree was a bit of a challenge.) At least to start, it's just a matter of finding entry points for her. I think next I'll show her "Singing in the Rain." Not only has she seen the title song parodied in a number of places, but she was fascinated to learn it starred Princess Leia's mommy.

I know I can do this. I've done it before. When Gwen was in college some years back, she was taking an art history class and the Professor announced that they were going to study the Spanish Inquisition. "What," he asked, "do we know about the Spanish Inquisition?" Immediately Gwen piped up, "It was unexpected." The teacher laughed. No one else did. No one else got it. No one else knew the bit or had ever heard of Monty Python.

Teach your children well.

PAD