The Path to Happiness—Willpower or Stillpower?

Recent studies about happiness reveal something interesting. In one study, a group of people were questioned about their level of happiness a month prior and a year after winning a large sum of money in the lottery; in another study, people were asked about their level of happiness a month prior and a year after being involved in an accident that left them paralyzed. Believe it or not, these studies show that if, on a scale of 1 to 10, you were a 2 and won the lottery—a year later, you'll still be a 2. If you were a 9 and became paralyzed—a year later, you'll still be a 9.

If you are a reader of my book or articles, you'll find that this comes as no surprise. I have long suggested that external circumstances are neutral. Indeed, these studies back my conjecture. More importantly, though, why is this the case? Why would a large sum of cash not make us happy, long-term, and why wouldn't becoming paralyzed have the opposite effect?

Do your circumstances have any power over your long-term mood? Not according to this data.

The explanation rests in the degree to which a person understands how human beings create their perceptions. We form our reality from inside to out. That is a given. If you grasp this fact, you will see that external events have no power over you; if you don't grasp it, you are bound to become a victim. In other words, it is not winning the lottery or becoming permanently disabled (external circumstances) that seals one's fate; it's whether or not an individual sees that his or her current state of mind determines his or her outlook of these circumstances.

For example, I have met with hundreds of athletes whom, at one point in their career, have failed miserably. Each of them will admit that for some reason, at times, failure really bothers them, but at other times (without willing themselves to feel better), it doesn't. "Sometimes, I can see where the failure is pointing me," they might say; meaning that their perception of the failure is totally dependent on their state of mind in the moment. From a high state of mind, the loss makes sense; from a low state of mind, the loss is devastating.

Here's something you can't control, change, or will yourself through: Your thoughts create your feelings; your feelings create your mood; your mood creates your present outlook on life.

Clearly, then, thoughts about failure or success, like sickness or health, do bring us down or rise us up. But it is only our own thoughts that do this. People who see that their thinking (not their circumstances) informs their senses look within for answers—and are thus resilient. People who don't see this look outside—and are thus vulnerable.

The bottom line to happiness is this: Everyone's quality of thinking and state of mind will fluctuate. So when you are low, the path to happiness does not include employing willpower to cure what ails you (just imagine a paraplegic trying to will himself or herself through the circumstance). It is about knowing that, no matter what takes place, your thinking and mood will self-correct, if left alone.

As the above studies show, human beings are blessed with an inborn and automatic power to be resilient (I call it stillpower). Those who know this thrive; those who have forgotten falter—come what may.