Marine 0-5 Tottenham: FA Cup third round – as it happened

Carlos Vinicius’s hat-trick helped Spurs to a comfortable victory over Marine, though they were given a scare when Neil Kengni hit the bar at 0-0

9.26pm GMT

And some reaction ...

Related: 'I have so much respect for Mourinho': Marine's Neil Young thanks Tottenham

9.25pm GMT

Barney Ronay on the charming FA Cup fixture.

Related: José Mourinho takes a supporting role in Marine's drama of homespun charm | Barney Ronay

7.11pm GMT

Andy Hunter’s match report has arrived, so I shall leave you with that. Thanks very much for your company, emails and especially your Neil Young tips. Goodnight!

Related: Carlos Vinícius's hat-trick for Tottenham ends Marine's adventure

6.58pm GMT

Here’s the Marine manager Neil Young

“I’m very proud of the players. It was always gonna be tough – you only have to look at the Spurs side. You have to give great credit to Jose Mourinho for the side he picked. He showed us great respect. At the end we were laughing about [which superstar] would be coming off the bench next.

6.53pm GMT

Joe Hart has a long post-match chat with his opposite number Bayleigh Passant. The Marine players are then applauded off by everyone at the ground or in their back grounds. There’s been plenty of humanity on show today.

6.49pm GMT

Everyone’s a winner. Marine had their day in the sun and Spurs avoided an FA Cup embarrassment for the ages. Carlos Vinicius hit a first-half hat-trick and the 16-year-old Alfie Devine scoring on his debut. Lucas Moura got the other goal. Marine had a couple of moments - Neil Kengni twanged the crossbar at 0-0 - and will remember everything about this game with the greatest fondness.

6.47pm GMT

90 2 min Vinicius misses a sitter, shooting wide on the turn from eight yards after unselfish play from Devine.

6.46pm GMT

90 min Two minutes of added time.

6.45pm GMT

89 min Vinicius gallops away from Miley on the left side of the area, but his cross is too close to Passant.

6.42pm GMT

86 min The match is starting to peter out, althoug today was only partially about the football. It’s been a warm and fuzzy experience for all connected with Marine, and a 5-0 defeat won’t change that.

6.39pm GMT

84 min At the other end, Bale’s long-range shot dribbles well wide.

6.39pm GMT

83 min A Spurs clearance is picked up by Kengni, who welts a shot from 25 yards that is blocked by Rodon. He caught that really well.

6.36pm GMT

81 min Gedson Fernandes’s imaginative through pass is just too heavy for Doherty. Marine make their final substitution: Danny Shaw replaces David Raven.

6.35pm GMT

80 min “Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “Is it too early to start the debate on Alfie Devine and the England squad? Surely what he needs now is pressure! I’m calling it - he’s the New Rooney. What is Southgate playing at?!”

You’ve got to give youth a chance. If Devine doesn’t start the next game alongside Phil Foden, Jamal Musiala and Harry Kane’s newborn son, then I’m afraid Southgate has to go.

6.34pm GMT

78 min Crikey, a yellow card. James Joyce is the recipient, for a cynical foul on Doherty.

6.32pm GMT

76 min Barrigan is very late on White, a yellow card in normal circumstances. Michael Oliver, who has been in an understandably generous mood, settles for giving a free-kick.

6.31pm GMT

75 min Two more Marine substitutions: Kenny Strickland and Ryan Wignall replace Jay Devine and Niall Cummins, whose hopes of a famous

red card
goal are over.

6.30pm GMT

74 min White, fed by Clarke, spanks a shot into orbit from 25 yards.

6.30pm GMT

73 min Marine don’t really look like scoring. This wouldn’t normally be of much importance at 5-0, but I suppose it is today. I reckon most non-league teams in this situation would rather lose 8-1 than 5-0, just to have one euphoric moment.

6.27pm GMT

71 min Ben Davies has been replaced by Sergio Reguilon.

6.26pm GMT

70 min Kyle Bosman is in the mood for song.

I’ve seen Vinicius and the Damage Done /
Alfie Devine he’s even got him one /
No Harry Kane or even Heung-min Son

6.26pm GMT

69 min Bale hits a wobbling free-kick from 25 yards that is shovelled round the post by Passant. The corner is played short and worked to Ge

l
dson Fernandes, whose shot from the edge of the area is headed away by the stooping Raven. I think it was going wide anyway.

6.24pm GMT

68 min “Sixteen,” says Matt Dony. “Six-flipping-teen. Do you know what I was doing at 16, Rob? Dreaming of being a rock star, pining over unobtainably cool girls, drinking cheap, weak lager, and reading books that I thought would make me look smart. Do you know what I wasn’t doing? Scoring on my first team debut, in the FA Cup. Good on Alfie Devine. What a story for him.”

Sure, you might have been an immature mess at 16, but look at you n-oh.

6.23pm GMT

67 min Another change for Marine: Alex Doyle replaces Josh Hmami.

6.20pm GMT

65 min A double change for Spurs: Gareth Bale and Jack Clarke replace Dele Alli and Lucas Moura, who both played really well.

6.20pm GMT

64 min So does Harvey White, who clips it over the bar.

6.19pm GMT

63 min Lucas Moura is fouled on the edge of the D, just to the right of centre. Dele Alli fancies this.

6.18pm GMT

61 min Breaking news: Alfie Devine won’t be sleeping a wink tonight.

6.17pm GMT

Alfie Devine, 16, has scored on his Spurs debut! It was a really good goal, too. He ran onto Moura’s backheel, just inside the box on the left. Then he faced up Solomon-Davies, shifted the ball inside and cracked a low shot that beat Passant at the near post. What a lovely moment.

6.16pm GMT

Romance is back!

6.14pm GMT

59 min Davies’s fast first-time cross is studded into the ground and wide of the far post by Lucas Moura. That was a pretty good chance to make it 5-0.

6.14pm GMT

58 min Niall Cummins shapes to plunge his studs into Rodon’s achilles and then thinks better off it. I fear he is going to give Michael Oliver a difficult decision in the next half an hour.

6.12pm GMT

57 min Alli plays a classy one-two-three with Lucas Moura, who is in the act of shooting when Joyce makes a vital tackle.

6.10pm GMT

54 min Lucas Moura’s high, hanging cross is pulled down by Carlos Vinicius, who turns smartly but then spanks his half-volley out of the ground.

6.08pm GMT

52 min Hmami’s long-range shot is comfortably saved by Hart.

6.08pm GMT

51 min Niall Cummins has a gratuitous kick at Dele Alli and then goes looking for a follow-up. Alli has a few words back. For reasons that aren’t entirely clear, Cummins has spent much of the game kicking people.

6.06pm GMT

50 min Marine have had a lot of the ball at the start of the second half. I suspect Neil Young - sorry, I still can’t type that without sniggering - has told them to enjoy themselves, to try to score a goal, and the hell with how many they concede.

6.05pm GMT

49 min “Michael Howard?” says Richard Hirst. “Now they’ve got politics covered as well!”

6.03pm GMT

48 min Thanks ever so much for all your Neil Young gateway suggestions; they’re much appreciated. The consensus seems to be that I need to listen to his entire back catalogue because it’s all great.

6.03pm GMT

47 min Kengni has another pop from distance. This one isn’t as well struck and Hart saves comfortably.

6.02pm GMT

46 min Peep peep!

6.01pm GMT

Both teams are making half-time substitutions

Marine Michael Howard replaces Adam Hughes, which means a switch to a back four.

5.48pm GMT

Half-time reading

Related: Crawley score three second-half goals to stun Marcelo Bielsa's Leeds in FA Cup

5.46pm GMT

Peep peep! Spurs are winning with ease, as we knew they would. But there was a delicious moment after 20 minutes, with the score 0-0, when Neil Kengni pinged the top of the crossbar from 30 yards. Carlos Vinicius has helped himself to a hat-trick since then, with Lucas Moura smacking the other goal. See you in 15 minutes for more doomed romance.

5.44pm GMT

44 min Sissoko is eased to the canvas by Niall Cummins, the Marine captain. He has put himself about with considerable glee.

5.42pm GMT

42 min “Re: Neil Young,” begins David Wall. “Isn’t the real question, for both Spurs and Marine, how they approach the rest of the match After the Goal Rush?”

Enough of the puns, where I should start if I’m a Neil Young ignoramus? Asking for a deadbeat.

5.40pm GMT

40 min It seems that Kengni hitting the bar from 30 yards woke Spurs up. They scored four in 15 minutes thereafter.

5.38pm GMT

His third goal was scored from miles out, relatively speaking - around 14 yards. He fought for a loose ball with Hmami, waited for it to bounce and lobbed it sweetly over Passant. That was a delightful finish.

5.37pm GMT

A first-half hat-trick for Carlos Vinicius!

5.37pm GMT

37 min “People have noticed James Joyce at left-back and Neil Young in the dugout,” says Milo Nesbitt, “but Marine also have a substitute called David Lynch. One to watch.”

Gotta light?

5.36pm GMT

36 min: Great block from Rodon! Now it’s all about whether Marine can get a consolation goal. They almost manage it when Barrigan picks up a loose ball on the right and plays an inviting angled pass to Joyce, whose stinging first-time shot from the edge of the area is brilliantly blocked by Rodon.

5.35pm GMT

36 min Dele Alli couldn’t win today, but it would be remiss not to point out that he has been the best player on the pitch so far.

5.33pm GMT

34 min “Hi Rob,” says Meredith. “Wanted to point out a fun factoid for today: a Spurs fan, blog, Cartilage Free Captain raised the $ to sponsor Marine’s shorts for the match. The blog’s logo is the patch you can see on the back of their shorts. Info here. That the blog is named after Ledley King, who is there coaching Spurs adds yet another layer of fun to it all.”

5.33pm GMT

Lucas Moura makes it 3-0 with a sizzling free-kick. It was just outside the D, slightly to the right of centre, and Moura whipped a beauty into the far corner. Passant had no chance.

5.32pm GMT

Have a heart lads.

5.31pm GMT

32 min “Re: John Parker’s comment about Thomas Frank testing positive and the ‘arrogance’ of Jose Mourinho not isolating,” says Ben Hayward. “The rules define someone as being a contact and having to isolate if they were in contact with the person testing positive up to two days before the test. On that basis, Jose is fine (Tues pm being >2 days before Friday), and doing what he should be. I think it’s worth pointing out what the actual rules are so people know what they are obliged to do, rather than unjustly attacking Mourinho for being arrogant. Not that he isn’t arrogant, but when you’ve got so many reasons to call him arrogant choose one that’s accurate rather than spreading misinformation.”

5.31pm GMT

Carlos Vinicius gets another one-yard tap-in. Dele Alli was again the provider with a delicious pass over the defence to find Doherty. He stretched to sidefoot a volley that was was brilliantly saved by Passant, but Vinicius gobbled up the rebound.

5.30pm GMT

Romance RIP.

5.26pm GMT

27 min Gelson Fernandes blooters the ball over the bar from 20 yards.

5.25pm GMT

25 min “Adam Levine is making jokes about people who share names with musicians?” sniffs Matt Dony. “Marine 5?”

5.24pm GMT

Carlos Vinicius walks the ball into the net to give Spurs the lead. Alli played a one-two in the inside-right channel and slid a superb low cross to find the unmarked Vinicius six yards out at the far post. He made a total mess of his attempted shot but took advantage of a lucky ricochet and walked round Passant to score.

5.23pm GMT

Ach.

5.21pm GMT

21 min Marine appeal for a free-kick/penalty when a cross hits Fernandes’s hand right on the edge of the area. Michael Oliver doesn’t give it and there’s no VAR today. I don’t think it was a handball, and even if it was it might have been outside the box. But these are encouraging signs for Marine.

5.21pm GMT

20 min: Kengni hits the bar! Marine almost took the lead in sensational circumstances. Kengni received the ball on the halfway line and started to run at a backpedalling defence. When he got to within 30 yards of goal he put his entire body into a swirling shot that was deliberately left by Joe Hart, who thought it was going over. It wasn’t: it dipped onto the top of the bar and bounced straight up in the air, forcing Hart to push the rebound behind for a corner.

5.18pm GMT

19 min “Marine have a player named James Joyce in the starting lineup,” says Peter Oh. “Spurs are, literarily, toast.”

5.17pm GMT

18 min Gelson Fernandes slices a cross straight out of play. Marine are doing really well at the moment; Spurs, for all their possession, haven’t had a clear chance.

5.15pm GMT

15 min It’s Marine 0-0 Tottenham Hotspur, in an FA Cup association football match, and if that’s not breaking news then I don’t know what is.

5.14pm GMT

14 min Marine win a free-kick just past the halfway line, their first set-piece opportunity of sorts. Hmami curls it into the area and Davies heads clear.

5.13pm GMT

13 min “Hi Rob,” says Adam Levine. “So Neil Young is managing Marine? Ah, the Ragged Glory of the FA Cup. Is Tonight the Night for them? If they can get a win here they could be On the Beach tomorrow. And of course Joe Hart at some point this evening will be asking himself the question Why do I keep F@#%ing Up?”

Poor Joe Hart. He used to be a national treasure, sort of.

5.12pm GMT

12 min So far, so good for Marine. I’m not sure they can keep this up for 45 minutes, never mind 90, but for now they’ll be very happy.

5.11pm GMT

11 min “On Tuesday night, Jose Mourinho was having a touchline bromance with Brentford manager Thomas Frank,” says John Parker. “On Friday, Frank was revealed to have tested positive for Covid. In the real world, Mourinho would be legally obliged to self-isolate. On Planet Football, Mourinho is in Crosby. I have loved football for sixty years. Right now, I loathe the complacency, arrogance and contempt for the rest of us that is being shown.”

The complacency is a big problem I think. It’s probable that somebody involved in the Premier League will die of Covid in the next few months, and then what happens?

5.09pm GMT

9 min Lucas Moura adds a bit of electricity with a fine run past two players. He reaches the edge of the area and lashes a shot just over the bar.

5.08pm GMT

8 min White’s corner is punched away by Passant.

5.06pm GMT

6 min Doherty and Vinicius combine well to tee up Alli, who shoots straight at Passant from 20 yards.

5.05pm GMT

6 min It’s been a reasonable start for Marine. They’ve barely had a kick, but their defence has kept Spurs at arm’s length. The last thing they want to do is concede an early romance-killer.

5.04pm GMT

5 min Harvey White’s free-kick hits the top of the wall and spins to safety.

5.04pm GMT

4 min Gelson Fernandes is hoofed up in the air by Hughes, giving Spurs a free-kick 25 yards from goal.

5.01pm GMT

2 min One of the Marine supporters is already fiddling with a smartphone. I bet that didn’t happen in Ronnie Radford’s day.

5.00pm GMT

1 min Peep peep! Tottenham Hotspur kick off against Marine AFC.

4.58pm GMT

The players are out on the field. There’s no official crowd but those who live in the surrounding houses are making plenty of noise. There are big dumb smiles plastered across their faces, and quite right too. This is the game of a lifetime.

4.50pm GMT

The teams in (possible) formation

Marine (5-4-1) Passant; Solomon-Davies, Hughes, Raven, Miley, Joyce; Kengni, Hmami, Kengni, Devine, Barrigan; Cummins.

4.49pm GMT

#MARTOT pic.twitter.com/8dmpOJRQp1

4.41pm GMT

“Ths year ends in one,” says Niall Mullen, “so that means it’s Tottenham’s year. (Please check the sell-by-date on this aphorism.)”

4.39pm GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Gary Naylor. “As a teenager, Marine was my local club. I would watch the team of Roly Howard (he cleaned Kenny Dalglish’s windows - as Granada’s Kick Off would remind us every couple of years or so) on cold weekends. I recall the rain seeping into my shoes once, getting so cold that even the chip shop fare bought opposite the turnstiles failed to warm me.

“Waterloo Rugby Club is nearby and Northern Cricket Club, with championship level golf links stretching up the coast from Blundellsands to Ainsdale, Liverpool’s golden age coinciding with the Victorians’ organising of sports into competitive structures.You can still see their money and confidence 150 years on.

“I took it all for granted with the insouciance of youth - I don’t now.”

4.33pm GMT

The @SpursOfficial players warming up on the hallowed MTA turf! #COYM pic.twitter.com/WW6ZWnNQOt

4.26pm GMT

There’s already been one appreciable shock today

Related: Crawley score three second-half goals to stun Marcelo Bielsa's Leeds in FA Cup

4.25pm GMT

“Afternoon Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “I wonder what Gareth Bale is thinking about this afternoon. When he agreed his loan from the Bernabeu, I doubt he thought he’d be on the bench at Marine. The FA Cup is still magical but speaking as a Spurs fan, I’d like to think we’ve had our upset already. It’s such a crying shame there’s no fans in today. Life, eh.”

4.13pm GMT

Pre-match reading

Related: Meet Marine's band of brothers gunning for Spurs' FA Cup scalp

Related: 'I will shed a tear or two at kick-off': Marine get ready for their greatest day

Related: Tottenham's José Mourinho gets in FA Cup spirit by buying Marine raffle ticket

4.12pm GMT

Here’s our line-up for the big game! @EmiratesFACup #COYM pic.twitter.com/7DKnhVDbXn

⚪ Hart, Doherty, Alderweireld, Rodon, Davies (C), Sissoko, White, Gedson, Dele, Lucas, Vinicius.@WilliamHill latest (18 ):https://t.co/XmZWEmB3dm#THFC ⚪️ #COYS pic.twitter.com/7hPrePo1JL

1.23pm GMT

Hello. Donald Trump? Not interested! Covid-19? Do one! For the next few hours we are all eligible for a spiritual vaccine that will briefly enable us to forget real life and lose ourselves in romance. It’s Marine v Spurs, Marine v Mourinho, or - if you’re into the whole football pyramid thing - 165th v fourth.

Marine are sixth in the Northern Premier League Division One North West, the eighth tier of English football, and the 161 places between the teams is an FA Cup record. Ergo, if Marine win today it will be the greatest shock in FA Cup history.

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