Calming Signals: “But My Mare Likes This Bit”
I arrived at the clinic grounds Friday afternoon so I could meet the organizers and check out the facility. They’d also set up a lesson for someone who didn’t get into the clinic. The rider was warming up in the arena when I introduced myself. Her mare was beautiful, strong, with a dappled coat. She also had worried eyes and a bit with long shanks, most likely a high port; the sort commonly called a correction bit.
I hate this part. I always ask that clinic participants wear helmets and use lower-level Dressage-legal bits; a simple snaffle or Mullen, or bitless bridles are fine, too. This rider wore a helmet but maybe she didn’t know. When we’d exchanged greetings, I asked about the bit in the least confronting way I could. Because we are all defensive when it comes to our horses. But the rider smiled and told me she’d searched high and low. This was the first bit her mare liked. The problem she had wasn’t the bit, she said, but that her mare, who used to be rushing all the time, didn’t want to go forward now.
This is what you expect me to say to her: “That harsh bit is cruel.” It is, but that isn’t the real problem. Neither is not wanting to go forward, obviously. What horse would willingly walk into pain? Now the great debate about bit or bitless kicks in and we’ve all become part of the problem. We’re talking about tack instead of listening.
Here’s how it starts. The mare tosses her head, fussy with rein contact. Our immediate instinct is to try to pull her to stillness. Now she’s lost balance, but it’s about now that riders lose confidence, too. It gets worse, so naturally, we try another bit. Traditional training even supports the counterintuitive idea that a horse “progresses” to stronger bits as a natural course. Why would a good rider on an advanced horse need more control? But if our rider asked for advice, this was probably what she got. Add to that, most gaited horses are trained in similar bits. Don’t even ask me how I feel when I see a kid on a horse with one of these bits. Finally, I have a kind memory of one of the most dysfunctionally shut down horses I ever worked with, who years before had come home from starting as a two-year-old, in a spade bit. Take a breath for him.
How many times do we solve one problem by creating another? Head tossing isn’t the mare saying I don’t like this bit. Horses don’t think about snaffles or shank bits. Most obviously, no horse ever asks for a harsher bit. Assuming the vet has confirmed her teeth aren’t sharp and she isn’t in some other pain, the horse tosses her head to say she’s uncomfortable. She’s warning her rider that her confidence is shaky and she needs some help. The horse and her rider aren’t even conversing on the same topic. The rider is talking about bits and just like always, the horse is fearful for her life. They might as well be Abbott and Costello in Who’s on First except that horses have no sense of humor where their emotions are concerned.
In this case, the mare didn’t like this bit better; her head had stopped being fussy because it hurt more to toss. It’s like someone putting duct tape over your mouth. It does succeed in making you quiet until you beat the door or stomp your feet. More rope needed for you.
The real question is how does it happen that the two of us look at the same horse, one seeing a horse who likes her bit and the other one seeing a horse filled with desperation? I teach calming signals, how a horse expresses their feelings, as the most important key to building a partnership with a horse. But there is something I hate about calming signals, too. Learning about them often starts with a bitter pill. Usually, something we read as cute or affectionate or maybe just peaceful is something much darker. Shutting a horse down might be the cruelest thing because we take away the beauty that drew us to horses in the first place.
It takes no special skill to know what pinned ears mean, or when a horse bares his teeth at us. But it isn’t just how many calming signals have we missed before the horse rebels. The challenge is that reading positive signals is harder than the angry ones.
How do we tell horse likes the bit? Bits are metal on bone. Bits take away autonomy; their Horse-God given right to flight. For those of you in bitless side pulls or rope halters, they can be just as intimidating. So far, we’ve blamed bits and not our hands, our bad advice in the past, or our lack of trust. That is the big picture.
Horses will never enjoy a loss of balance and freedom. At the least, use a bit does not interfere with the natural movement of her head. Learn to read the stoic response as well as the reactive ones. You want to see a soft poll, relaxed lips, and alert curious eyes. You should want your horse’s permission, not resistance. The old domination paradigm was to force a horse to give to pressure. We answer resistance by downsizing the bit and getting riding lessons from a good trainer. The best we can hope for is acceptance. The horse accepts the gentle bit, and we accept that our hands always need to improve. Let the negotiations begin!
These days there are all kinds of photos of people riding without bridles at all, and as usual, each horse has an opinion. Look closely, not all are happy. We need to listen to our horse. It’s not a choice between a brutal bit or nothing at all. It’s about never allowing yourself to become complacent about what a bit means to a horse. We must both agree to give up control.
How did that lesson go? I did what I always do. I tied a neckring about the mare and handed it to the rider with the request that she hold it with her reins, but adjusted so the neckring keeps contact with the mare’s shoulders while the reins remain long, not impacting the bit. The mare doesn’t immediately trust that her mouth won’t hurt and the rider doesn’t immediately trust that she can control her mare, but they are closer to being in the same conversation. Closer to being partners.
… Anna Blake for Relaxed & Forward
Want more? Join us in The Barn. Subscribe to our online training group with training videos, interactive sharing, audio blogs, live-chats with Anna, and the most supportive group of like-minded horsepeople anywhere.
Ongoing courses in Calming Signals, Affirmative Training, Fundamentals of Authentic Dressage, and Back in the Saddle: a Comeback Conversation, as well as virtual clinics, are taught at The Barn School, where I also host our infamous Happy Hour. Everyone’s welcome.
Visit annablake.com to find over a thousand archived blogs, purchase signed books, schedule a live consultation or lesson, subscribe for email delivery of this blog, or ask a question about the art and science of working with horses.
…Affirmative training is the fine art of saying yes.
The post Calming Signals: “But My Mare Likes This Bit” appeared first on Anna Blake.
