Writing and Learning During a Pandemic

Well, what a time for us all, hey? Usually I never quite know what my readers are up to. You’re all so different and spread all over the world, it's hard to predict. But for the first time, I know with certainty we've all faced the same thing: a global pandemic. And while I have been blessed in many ways (I have not caught Covid-19 nor lost anyone as a result of it) I have had my own personal battles, and have come out feeling battered and bruised.

As for the writing side of my life, many people have asked what it's been like to write during a pandemic. Other than the obvious, what I struggled with most was what I call ‘spinning head syndrome’. This pandemic really does put your mind in a spin. Even those who haven't been impacted in ways others have, it messes with your mind, right?

This spinning mind syndrome is particularly hard for creatives. We need focused time to dream up our ideas. We need to be able to push away outside distractions to sink into the writing process. Let me tell you, that's been near on impossible the past few months.

And yet at the same time, I have learnt SO many lessons from this pandemic about us as humans, lessons I can now plough into my writing in the future.

Take my latest novel, Circle of Doubt . It focuses on Emma, a woman whose dreams came true nine years before when she adopted her daughter, Isla. But then one day a new family moves into Forest Grove—and Emma can’t shake the chilling feeling that the wife looks just like Isla’s birth mother. Is this woman there to take Emma's daughter away... or is Emma losing her mind?

At the core of the novel is a Facebook group for mothers with a mixture of different types of members. What's been fascinating as I've revised this novel during the pandemic is watching how these ‘different camps’ have played out in real life during the pandemic.

Emma is part of what I’d call the 'lead with love' camp. The first instinct of members of this camp is to offer help to friends and family during tough times. Yes, there is anger and disappointment but ultimately, their ethos is one of compassion and positivity.

Then there is the ‘lead with anger’ camp. In this camp, opinions come before compassion. Members of this camp may well share the same views as people in the other camp, but angrily express those views before offering a helping hand or word of comfort.

In Circle of Doubt, as Emma navigates the demands of a holding down a full-time job and being a mother, she finds herself contending with the camp that leads with anger. She becomes a victim of their judgement and a sense of superiority. The irony is, these people might bemoan bullying at school, for example, and yet they are themselves bullies. They just don't see it in themselves.

What about in real life?

The good news is, many people I know lead first with love, showing a sensitivity and empathy for the challenges of those around them regardless of any opinions they might have about this pandemic.

When I say ‘opinions’ I mean the ones we see play out on our social media feeds, between those who think the reaction to the pandemic is a big exaggeration and those who think anyone who dares even step outside their house without a mask on is a criminal. That's fine, we all have our different views, that's life.

The difference between the two camps though is that regardless of which end of the scale these people’s opinions lie, people in the 'lead with love' camp don’t let those opinions cloud their compassion. But those in the 'lead with anger' camp do.

You’ll recognise them by how, when a new virus development happens (someone they know testing positive or a national lockdown is announced) rather than genuinely checking in with how their friends and family are doing, will instead spend time expressing their angry opinions (hint: their posts and rants usually include the words ‘sheeple!’ and ‘brainwashed’; ‘covidiots’ and ‘moronavirus!).

There's nothing wrong with expressing opinions. But the issue comes when someone doesn’t stop to think about the impact their words will have on someone who's reading or listening to them. They don't start with love and compassion first.

Is it really the right thing to mock people for being genuinely scared, without a thought for the clinically vulnerable who might be listening / reading (or those with clinically vulnerable members of the family). Is it right to call families going to the beach in the summer covidiots without a thought for the exhausted mother who just wanted to take her kids away for the day without breaking any rules?

Some might argue people shouldn't have to censor their views for fear of hurting someone's feelings. But what harm is there in a moment's pause first? Or an act of compassion to counter it?

Often in this case, people will say 'well you should have said'. But when dealing with such an emotionally awful time, people often can't find the reserves to express what they're thinking. It's easier to nod along, something Emma finds herself doing sometimes.

And guess what? I've been in that 'lead with anger' camp before. It's a tempting place to be when you're going through a terrible time. We all have our own reasons for being the way we are; for finding ourselves in the camps we do, like the people in Circle of Doubt. But if you try to find yoursef back to the 'lead with love' camp, it's amazing what a difference it makes.

And part of being in the 'leading with love' camp is remembering, as always with people, real and fictional, nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems. And that’s the same with all my books. You never quite know what’s going on beneath the surface…

To read my latest novel, Circle of Doubt, click the button below. Read Circle of Doubt