I Do Not Need These Things (And You Don’t, Either)

I spent the entirety of New Year’s weekend living my very best life, by which I mean I watched all seven episodes of The Queen’s Gambit while Marie Kondo-ing every inch of this house. You guys, my Tupperware is organized. WHAT. (Related: How is it that I have reached the age of nearly forty years old, and have only just realized that the tops of Tupperwares click together for easier storage?)

One of my favorite things about being single (and there are many, starting with shared custody that per...