A Picnic on Mars

The red disc grew slowly larger in the viewing window as the spaceship converged with its orbit. Sandra Duncan couldn���t pull her eyes away. Very soon I���ll be walking on that planet, she thought. First woman on Mars.

The individual who was soon to become the first man on Mars looked over her shoulder. ���That���s some view, isn���t it? It���s almost worth having to spend the last six months cooped up in this tin can, eating processed food and listening to Jerome���s ancient new wave music.���

���You know it���s totally worth it, Michael. Not to mention the six-month trip back. And I���d do it all again to get the chance to set foot on another planet.���

Michael Summers put his finger to his lips ���Shush, Sandra. Jerome might hear.���

���Jerome CAN hear,��� came a voice from the cockpit. ���Haven���t we already established that sound carries unusually well in this capsule? Now I���ll say it again: you don���t need to dance around the topic of your surface excursion. It doesn���t bother me that I need to stay with the mother ship while you prance around like idiots on the ground. Someone has to cart your sorry asses home. And for the record, new wave music is the bomb.���

Michael turned to respond. ���It���s the bomb? What does that even mean? Is that an 80s expression, Jerry? Because that was a half-century ago. It���s 2037 now. Get with the times.���

Devo���s ���Whip It��� began playing. Michael put his hands over his ears. Sandra smiled.

���You know it annoys him when you call him Jerry,��� Sandra whispered.

���And that���s why I do it,��� replied Michael. ���I���m not oblivious,���

Michael Summers, Ares Mission Commander, maintained a running diatribe with Jerome Freeman. It was all an act, designed to relieve the tension of living together in a confined space for such a long stretch of time. It was mostly an act, Sandra thought. There had been a few times on the trip when tempers threatened to flare. But Michael and Jerome were both consummate professionals and never let their disagreements get out of hand. Truth be told, there were times when I had to count to ten during this trip as well.

Jerome had a particularly tough job, Sandra thought. To fly six months out here and six months back without even a chance to step outside in a spacesuit must be hard. But someone had to pilot the Command Operations Module (COM for short) when it separated and later re-docked with the Mars Excursion Lander (lovingly called MEL) that would take Sandra and Michael down the planet���s surface. Jerome never complained about it, though. ���It���s the job,��� he said. ���There are thousands of people who would give their right arm to do what I���m doing.��� And he was right.

Michael looked at his watch and said, ���Hey, isn���t it time for your next transmission?���

Sandra nodded. She had agreed to broadcast a series of science lectures from space, targeted at middle school children and above. There were to be seven episodes: three on the trip to Mars, one from the surface, and three on the way back. She positioned herself in front of the camera and got ready to record.

���Hello, I���m Sandra Duncan and this is another episode of Notes from the Red Planet. Our spacecraft, Ares 1, is getting very close to Mars now. It���s easy to see why the Romans named this planet after their god of war. The reddish color makes this world look angry and forbidding. But the pigmentation is simply due to the presence of iron oxide in the soil. Incidentally, NASA named this the Ares mission because Ares was the name of the Greek god of war. Personally, I think it should have been named Pax instead, for the Roman goddess of peace. But they didn���t give me a vote.

���Since we���re traveling much faster than the planet, we���ll need to slow down to avoid passing it. In a few hours we���ll be firing our retro rockets and getting into position for a stable orbit. Pretty soon after that, Michael Summers and I will get into the Mars Excursion Lander, which we call MEL for short, to make our way down to the planet.

���We���ll only have three days and two nights down there before we���ll need to start back to Earth. You���ll remember from our last episode that the distance to Mars varies a lot because Earth and Mars revolve around the Sun at different speeds. Objects closer to the Sun have to move faster to maintain a stable orbit. The Earth speeds by Mars about every six months. The closest they come to each other is about 35 million miles. But when the two planets are on opposite sides of the Sun, the distance is over 250 million miles. We have to make our trip back to Earth when the planets are close to one another. That���s about now, since they get close every six months and it took us six months to get here. If we miss this launch window, we���ll have to wait another six months for the next one. That would be really unfortunate because we don���t have an extra half-year���s supply of food and water. Don���t worry, though. We won���t miss it.

���MEL will drop to the surface pretty fast, so we���ll need to slow down a lot to make a soft landing. We���ll deploy a parachute, but that alone won���t be enough because the atmosphere around Mars is pretty thin. As we get closer to the ground, Commander Summers will fire MEL���s retro rockets. They���ll reduce our speed and we���ll gently set MEL down.

���Once we���re on the planet, Commander Summers and I will take a little time to let our bodies get used to gravity again. Even though Mars��� gravity is only about a third of Earth���s, it will still take a bit of adjustment after six months of weightlessness. Once we���re acclimated, we���ll do some exploring. I���m so excited for the chance to be the first woman on Mars!

���The NASA folks chose a terrific landing spot which is close to the base of Olympus Mons, the highest mountain in the solar system. It���s three times as tall as Mount Everest, and it used to be an active volcano. It has a very gradual slope in most places but we won���t be climbing to the top, unfortunately. It���s way too far to walk in our spacesuits. But the mountain should make for some fantastic photos!

���My next broadcast will be from the surface of Mars. I���m really looking forward to that one, as you might imagine. See you then! End transmission.���

As usual, Michael and Jerome gave her a floating ovation when she was done.

���Oh, cut it out, guys. Stop the applause.���

���But you���re a star,��� said Jerome. ���When we get back, everyone will know your face. But poor Michael and I will fade into the woodwork. No one will recognize us.���

���Oh, yeah, you���ll be practically invisible, I���m sure.���

���I kind of wish that was true,��� said Michael. ���I can���t stand all that media attention.���

���Bullshit, Michael,��� said Jerome. ���You know you love it.���

���Well,��� Michael admitted, ���maybe a little.���

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The entry into Mars orbit went smoothly. The retro rockets fired and the spacecraft slowed down to just the right speed to allow it to circle the planet without falling in. Ares would complete a full revolution around Mars every ninety minutes.

After one orbit, the time came for the descent. Michael and Sandra hugged Jerome. ���You won���t be too lonely up here, I hope,��� Sandra said.

���Are you kidding me? I���ve been waiting for this day for six months. I get the COM all to myself. It���s party time! Duran Duran at full volume!���

���That���s rad,��� said Michael. ���Just make sure you don���t head home without us.���

���I wouldn���t think of it, Dude. You still owe me a hundred bucks for that bet we made. I need to collect.���

���What bet?��� asked Sandra.

���Oh, nothing,��� replied Michael, sheepishly.

���I bet that you���d refer to yourself as the first woman on Mars during one of your broadcasts. He said you wouldn���t.���

���Oh. So that���s why you guys watched me do every transmission, huh?���

���No, no,��� said Michael. ���We would have watched anyway.���

���But it did add a little excitement,��� said Jerome.

���Not that your shows weren���t riveting,��� said Michael.

���Fascinating,��� added Jerome.

������ and educational,��� finished Michael.

���Enough!��� laughed Sandra. ���But really, do you think I shouldn���t have said it? Was I being too vain?���

���Don���t be absurd, Girl,��� said Jerome. ���You are going to be the first woman on Mars. You should milk it for all it���s worth.���

���Just remember whose boot hits the ground first,��� said Michael.

���Oh, I thought you���d be chivalrous and hold the door for me, Commander. Ladies first, right?���

���Not in this case, Sandra. We���ve got to follow protocol.���

������ said the first man on Mars,��� mocked Jerome. ���Anyway, I hate to break this up, but it���s time you get the hell out of here. Godspeed, my friends.���

After another set of hugs, Michael and Sandra climbed into the MEL.

As he closed the hatch, Michael said, ���See you in three days.���

���Not if I see you first,��� said Jerome.

Inside the MEL, the Commander took his seat next to Sandra and said, ���That guy always needs to have the last word.���

���Speaking of words, Michael, what do you plan to say when you step onto the planet?���

���My first words will be ���Drink Pepsi.��� They offered me $500,000.���

���You���re going to use man���s first landing on another planet as an opportunity to advertise a soft drink?���

���For half a mil? You bet I am.���

���You���re not.���

���No, don���t be silly. Did you honestly think I���d sell my soul for only half a million? I could auction those rights off for a lot higher. I���m no dummy.��� Michael clicked the communications link to Earth. ���Houston, this is Ares 1. Captain Duncan and I are in the MEL. We are about to detach from the Command Operations Module. Over.���

���I���m not sure why you bother. At this distance from Earth it will take them ten minutes to respond.���

���And that���s why we don���t necessarily wait for orders from them unless it���s super-important. But they still like to be kept informed. Makes ���em feel important and all. Hey Jerome, you there?���

Jerome���s voice was heard clearly over the radio. ���I���m here, big guy. You ready to detach?���

���Ready when you are.���

���Okay. Approaching the zone now. Seven minutes to detach.���

���Roger that.���

Seven and a half minutes later, the Mars Excursion Lander separated from the Command Operations Module. When they were sufficiently far apart, MEL fired a short burst of propellant that sent them hurtling toward the planet. The descent took about 40 minutes. Halfway down they lost radio contact with Jerome as the COM swung around to the opposite side of the planet.

There was some heat and buffeting due to friction with the atmosphere, but much less than they���d later experience on the descent to Earth. Michael started a running commentary to advise Earth on their progress. They���d hear it five minutes later.

���Olympus Mons sighted. The landing area will be to the south.���

As they grew closer, the parachute was deployed. Then the reverse thrusters were ignited.

���Approaching target landing area. Surface appears smooth.���

���Landing gear engaged. 3000 feet.���

���Roll 20. Stable. Small crater. Shifting to port. Elevation 2000 feet.���

���1000 feet. Looking good. 500. 200. 75 feet. Touching down.���

���Houston, this is Olympus Base. MEL has landed.���

Ten minutes later, the radio crackled, ���Olympus Base, this is Houston. Roger your landing. There���s a big celebration happening all around the world down here. Congratulations to the entire Ares crew. Take a moment to revel in your achievement��� Okay, guys, that���s long enough. Now get back to work and perform your post-landing checklist. After that, we have you scheduled for two hours of downtime. Try to get some rest; you���ve got a big day ahead. As you know, a day on Mars is only slightly longer than a day on Earth. We estimate local Mars time when you receive this message to be 10:25 am. Your first two-hour excursion is planned for 2:00 pm local time. We���ll give you a wake-up call at 1:00 pm. Darkness falls at 6:10 pm.���

���Roger that, Houston. Talk to you in a few hours.���

���Are you really going to sleep?��� Sandra asked.

���Not on your life. But we should try to relax as much as possible. The next few days will be tiring, and we need to be at our best. First, though, let���s go through the post-landing checklist.���

���Roger that, Commander.���

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Two and a half hours later, the speakers began playing ���Start Me Up��� by the Rolling Stones. Jerome���s voice followed, with ���Wakey, wakey guys! I���m back and I can���t say how pleased I am to find out you touched down without a hitch.���

Michael wiped his eyes, surprised that he had fallen asleep after all. ���Hey, Jerome. How was your swing around the planet?���

���I���ve done two loops while you���ve been getting your beauty sleep. The dark side of the planet is mostly boring. You���ve seen it once, so you know. It���s too dark to see anything on the surface. It���s just a big black void. I did get a glimpse of Jupiter, but we���re still pretty far away so it���s not much bigger than it would look from Earth. I took advantage of the darkness and radio silence to get some much-needed shut-eye. Without your snoring, I might add.���

���I don���t snore.���

���Ask Sandra.���

���He snores,��� confirmed Sandra.

���Thanks for that,��� said Michael. ���Someone on Earth is recording these conversations for posterity.���

���We just call ���em as we see ���em, man,��� said Jerome. ���Enjoy the rest of your day.���

���You too, Jerome.���

An hour later, the two astronauts were ready to make history by becoming the first humans to walk on Mars. As previously determined, the Mission Commander was the first to step out of the MEL. He abandoned the potential for millions in advertising fees by saying, as his foot touched the Martian dirt, ���Imagination and courage brought us here; with such guides at our side, there is no place we cannot go.���

For her part, Sandra said as she stepped off the ladder, ���Mars, we bring you greetings and peace from the women and men of your neighbor, planet Earth.���

Sandra stepped away from the MEL and looked around. If NASA was looking for the most photogenic spot on the planet, they chose well, she thought. The surface was an alien desert with a reddish complexion. But the horizon was dominated by Olympus Mons, which towered skyward for nearly fourteen miles. They were too close to see it in perspective. It had a diameter of about 370 miles, about the width of France. Most of the volcano had a mild incline of about five degrees, as she had mentioned on her broadcast. What she had neglected to say was that most of its edges were sheer cliffs rising as high as five miles from the Martian surface. Minor detail. They had landed about four miles south of the mountain���s edge and the cliffs towered above them now. Sandra laughed at the thought of someone even attempting to climb this monster. There was a more gradual approach on the southwest side, without any cliffs to scale. But it would still take a week or more to reach the summit if you were walking, and scientists believed that the surface was covered with a thick layer of dust which might make progress difficult.

Sandra noticed an odd shadow on one of the cliff walls and pointed it out to Michael. After some discussion they decided to send a drone camera to the location for a better view. They prepared the drone for takeoff and would launch it when they were back inside the MEL. In the meantime, they had plenty of work to do. They collected rock and soil samples, took a slew of pictures, and set up equipment to monitor radiation and seismic activity. The two hours slated for their walkabout passed quickly, and both astronauts were reluctant to return to the MEL when it was over.

Once they were safely back inside, Michael sat down and reached for the drone controls. The small aircraft lifted off and Michael sent it speeding toward the wall of Olympus Mons. Video from the drone appeared on the MEL���s monitor and was simultaneously streamed back to Earth.

It took about six minutes for the drone to cover the four miles between MEL and the cliff. As it got closer to its objective, Michael and Sandra became more excited.

���There���s no reason for a shadow to be there,��� Michael said. ���There���s nothing nearby to cast it.���

���That���s because it���s not a shadow. It���s a cave,��� said Sandra.

���I think you might be right,��� said Michael as he stared at the image. ���It could be a lava tube.���

Olympus Mons used to be an active volcano, and some scientists think it might become active again in the future. Lava tubes can form when the lava near the top cools and hardens, leaving the molten magma below to keep moving below the surface. If the upstream lava suddenly starts moving in a different direction, the magma inside the tube can drain out, leaving an empty cave.

The drone was nearing the target now. Michael slowed it down and did a scan of the cliff face. The shadow was clearly a cave.

���Well spotted, Sandra. This is awesome.���

���You know we have to go out there and check it out, right?���

���Um, I don���t know about that, Sandra. It���s a long walk, and the cave is a hundred feet or so up from the base of the cliff. It might be too risky. Not to mention that it���s not in the schedule.���

���Screw the schedule, Michael. Caves could be a possible harbor for bacterial life. There might still be evidence of heat-seeking bacteria on the cave walls or floor. Think of it, Michael. We could confirm the existence of life on Mars!���

���Yeah, I see your point, but this is a major deviation from the plan. We need Houston to weigh in on it.���

���They���ll debate it for a day and a half and then tell us it���s too dangerous,��� moaned Sandra.

���In which case, we won���t go. There will be other missions. But I���ll transmit the suggestion. Right now, let���s use the drone to identify the best approach to the cave in case they give us a green light.���

They spent the next hour scanning the cave and the surrounding cliff wall. The drone found a narrow ledge leading to the entrance which might be climbable, assuming it was solid enough. When they���d seen as much as they could, Michael flew the drone back to the MEL and radioed Houston with a request to do manned exploration.

Ten minutes later the intercom blared, ���Olympus base, Houston here. Thanks for the video feed from the drone. We are analyzing it now and will get back to you with a response to your request for manned investigation. In the meantime, please keep to the existing schedule of activities. Night will be falling in about an hour. It���s going to be a cold one, guys, so bundle up. We will check in with you again at 5 am Mars time.

Night on Mars fell suddenly. Unlike Earth, the thin atmosphere here didn���t disperse light. As soon as the sun dropped below the horizon, it became pitch black outside. Nor did the atmosphere have much capability to store heat. The temperature quickly plummeted from plus 60 degrees Fahrenheit to minus 100.

Sandra noted the temperature and looked out of the capsule window. Phobos, the larger of Mars��� two moons, could be seen low in the sky. It was much dimmer than the Earth���s moon. Sandra couldn���t see the other one, Deimos. But since it was only eight miles wide, she figured it would be nearly impossible to spot with the naked eye.

���I can see why NASA didn���t schedule any night walks for us,��� Sandra said.

���Yeah, night on Mars is no picnic, that���s for sure.���

���You really think people will colonize this planet someday?���

���Oh, it���ll happen, yeah. They���ll eventually build a permanent outpost here. But it���ll have to be continually supplied from Earth, so it���ll be extremely expensive.���

���What about the idea of terraforming?���

���Whether we can terraform this planet to make it suitable for terrestrial life is an interesting question. It would likely take thousands of years, even if we had the technology. Which we currently don���t, despite all the theorizing that goes on about it.���

Sandra considered this. Then she asked, ���Have you ever read Kim Stanley Robinson���s novel, Red Mars?���

���Of course. It���s brilliant. I���ve also read the sequels, Green Mars and Blue Mars. But the first book was the best, I thought.���

���I must admit that after viewing Mars in all its glory earlier, the idea of transforming it into some kind of alternate Earth smacks of hubris, if not lunacy.���

���Yeah, but two hundred years ago, someone seriously suggesting that man would walk upon Mars would have been committed to an asylum,��� said Michael.

���True. You up for a game of chess? I brought my miniature magnetic board.���

���You���re on. But no betting this time, Sandra. I only gamble when I have a chance of winning.���

After the game, Sandra recorded another episode of Notes from the Red Planet. She described how exciting it was to touch down on the surface with MEL, and even more so to set her foot upon the Martian soil. She explained the workings of some of the equipment they set up outside and why these measurements mattered to planetary scientists. She talked about Olympus Mons and its steep cliffs. She discussed the drone flight and the cave, but Michael noted with satisfaction that she diplomatically refrained from mentioning their request for permission to visit it. NASA definitely wouldn���t have taken kindly to that.

When it was over, Jerome radioed in his approval. He and Michael applauded.

It was their first night on Mars, and time for bed.

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At five a.m., the astronauts wake up to the sound of ���Spaceman��� by Harry Nilsson.

���Oh, Lordy, where���d you dig that song up from, Houston?��� Michael asked.

Ten minutes later: ���It was a recommendation from your buddy Jerome.���

���Of course it was,��� mumbled Michael.

The transmission continued. ������ And I���ve got some bad news and some worse news for you. Which do you want first, Commander?��� There is a slight pause. ���Belay that. I���m advised we can���t wait ten minutes for you to answer that question. I���ll give you the bad news first. Your recommendation to visit the cave is declined. Repeat, do not attempt to visit the cave. It was determined to be not worth the risk. I���ll give you ten seconds to confirm before I continue.���

���Shit,��� said Sandra.

���Not unexpected,��� replied Michael. He clicked the microphone and said, ���Ares 1 confirms, Houston. No Martian spelunking.���

In a moment the transmission continued. ���Okay, Olympus Base, I assume you confirmed that. Now here���s the worse news. There���s a sandstorm headed your way. ETA 2 pm local Martian time. Wind speeds of up to fifty miles per hour. We recommend you batten down the hatches and protect the external equipment as best you can. It will probably last about three hours, assuming no changes to its trajectory and size.

Now it was Michael���s turn to say, ���Shit.���

���Should we be worried?��� asked Sandra.

���Worried? No, not particularly. It���s mainly a nuisance. It means we have to cut back the schedule. No wonder they denied the cave excursion.���

���Fifty-mile-an-hour winds sound pretty bad.���

���Yeah, but the winds here don���t create much force due to the thin atmosphere. The storm will blow dust everywhere and it may disrupt communications for a few hours, but it shouldn���t cause much actual damage as long as we secure the equipment.���

An hour later, the sun was up and the astronauts were ready to do another surface excursion. They went outside and completed the scheduled morning tasks, then covered the surface equipment with tarps and staked the ends into the ground. They brought some of the more sensitive electronics back into the MEL, including the drone. After checking in with Houston, they relaxed and waited for the storm.

���Ares COM to Olympus Base. You there, Michael?���

���Roger that, Jerome. Go ahead.���

���Hey, I���ve got some more bad news for you, buddy. I���ve been visually tracking the storm from up here, and I���ve detected some lightning flashes. You���d better power down whatever you can until it passes.���

���Roger that, Jerome. Thanks.��� Michael started flipping some switches.

���I didn���t even know Mars had lightning,��� said Sandra.

���It���s pretty rare, and the energy levels are much lower than in lightning strikes on Earth. But I imagine a direct hit could still do some damage to our circuitry.���

���What can we do about that?���

���Just pray it doesn���t hit us.���

When the storm came, the dust flew everywhere. They could no longer see out the viewing window. The MEL shook slightly, but Michael was right. The force was pretty low. Nowhere near the strength needed to do any real damage or (God forbid) tip the MEL over. They listened for thunder but didn���t hear anything apart from the sound of sand particles hitting the side of the spacecraft.

Thirty minutes in, they lost radio contact.

Two hours in, there was a loud cracking sound and the cabin lights went out.

���Oh shit,��� said Michael. ���That was a lightning strike. We���ve been hit.���

���Michael! What���s that smell?���

���Electrical fire! Help me find the source!��� Michael grabbed the extinguisher and started ripping off panels.

���Here! It���s over here, Michael! I see smoke!��� They removed the cover panel. Some dark black vapor was given off as the wiring sheathing melted, but there were thankfully no flames. Michael sprayed the area and the smoking stopped.

���That was a close call,��� said Michael. ���Be on the lookout for other issues. We should advise Houston.���

���Still no signal. We���ll have to wait until the dust settles. Wow, I can���t believe I just said that. Anyway, what���s the damage look like?���

���It will take a while to figure it out. Hand me the emergency manual and help me work through the checklist.���

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It took several hours to assess the situation, by which time the storm had passed.

Michael was lying on the floor of the MEL, looking at an open panel box. ���Well, that���s it. The wiring from the main fuel cell is fried. I���ll have to repair or replace it. We can���t ignite the burners for liftoff without it. Is the radio working yet? I���ll want Houston���s advice on this.���

Sandra picked up the microphone. ���Houston, this is Olympus Base. Are you receiving us?���

They sat back to wait ten minutes for the reply but were interrupted a few seconds later by the speaker.

���Olympus Base, this is Ares COM. Are you okay?���

���Yes, Jerome, thanks. We���re fine. Unfortunately, though, the MEL was struck by lightning during the storm. It shorted out the main wiring cables from the fuel cell. We���re trying to contact Houston for advice on emergency procedures.���

Jerome and Michael discussed the problem for several minutes. The sound of the Houston controller broke into their conversation. ���Olympus Base and Command Operations Module, this is Houston. We just wanted you to know that we received your transmission and we are currently monitoring your two-way discussion. Please provide all relevant facts and your diagnosis, and signal to us when you are done. We will then analyze the situation and get back to you with further questions and our thoughts on next steps. Over.���

Knowing Houston was in the loop, Michael provided all the data he had on their status. He signaled when he was finished, and they waited for Houston���s response.

Ten minutes later they received an acknowledgment that Houston had received the information and was working on it.

An hour after that they were still waiting.

���Shouldn���t we request a status update?��� asked Sandra.

���There���s no point,��� replied Michael. ���They know we���re waiting. When they have something to say, they���ll contact us.���

It took another 45 minutes.

���Olympus Base, this is Houston. Grab a pen and paper guys, this will be a long message.���

There was a pause, presumably to allow them to get something to write on. As if they hadn���t been ready two hours ago.

���Okay, Olympus, we recommend you replace the faulty wiring from the fuel cell.���

WITH WHAT? Michael thought.

���We know you do not have sufficient wiring in your repair supplies to do this. You will have to salvage wiring that is being used for non-essential systems. We believe you will have enough to complete the job. What follows is a detailed list of the location of such wiring and instructions for retrieving it.���

Oh, great, Michael thought. And what about the fact that most or all of these wires will be of lower gauge than the main fuel cell cables?

���We are aware that the wire you will be using is a lower gauge. We believe it will still be sufficient to trigger ignition. You will need to stand by with your fire extinguisher to ensure that the wiring does not flame out afterward.���

Oh, great. Michael glanced at Sandra, who was playing it remarkably cool under the circumstances.

���Okay, Olympus Base, get ready. Here are the details.���

The message droned on for another fifteen minutes. Michael and Sandra scribbled furiously as if their lives depended on it. Because they did.

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They worked through the night, stripping wire, soldering, and twirling wires together and wrapping them in duct tape. It was cramped, feverish work but somehow they kept going. They had no time to despair. Not if they wanted to survive.

Jerome called in periodically to check their status and offer encouragement. But not too often, as he didn���t want to slow them down. The scheduled lift-off time was 11 am Mars time. Failing that, they would have subsequent launch windows every 90 minutes, which was based on how long it took the Command Operations Module to circle the planet and get into position for an intercept.

But at some point, Michael knew, Jerome would be ordered to leave orbit without them. If he waited too long, the orbits of Mars and Earth would diverge too much, and the Command Operations Module would be unable to get back home.

Michael wasn���t sure how much cushion for possible delays had been built into the flight plan. One day? Two? It couldn���t be much, he knew. Every minute that passed meant the spaceship would need more fuel to get back, and there was a limit to how much extra fuel they were carrying. Houston would know the answer. But so far, they weren���t sharing that information and Michael figured it would be premature and defeatist to ask.

So they worked on. Finally, it was done, with thirty minutes left to spare. They completed the pre-flight checks. Michael was at the lander controls, while Sandra sat next to him with the fire extinguisher in her lap. They���d want to put out any flames before they reached zero-G because fire in a weightless environment is a hellish thing.

They prepared for the final countdown and held their breath.

3 ��� 2 ��� 1 ��� Ignition. Michael pushed the button.

There was a loud ���pop��� and the replaced wiring split open and burst into flame. Nothing else happened. Sandra extinguished the fire quickly, but they could both tell it was game over.

Michael relayed the news to Houston and the Command Operations Module. There was a pregnant silence. Then Jerome said, ���That���s all right guys. Just try again. I���ll be back around in just ninety minutes.���

Sandra and Michael examined the burned wiring. It was beyond repair. Sandra looked at Michael and said, ���There���s not going to be a Plan B, is there?���

���No. I don���t think so, Sandra. I���m so sorry.���

Houston sent another message a few minutes later, saying they were sorry to hear that their first solution hadn���t worked. They would revert shortly with further thoughts.

An hour later, Houston confirmed there was no more wiring available to strip out. Everything still left was essential for the flight back into orbit and docking with the Command Operations Module. They insisted that their best minds were working on the problem, but Michael could tell from the controller���s voice that they were out of ideas. Right now, he figured, the head honchos at NASA were debating how soon to instruct the COM to leave Mars without them. They���d want to wait as long as possible, to make it seem as if they were doing everything they could to rescue the two brave astronauts on the surface. But Michael knew there could be no rescue. If he and Sandra couldn���t get this thing off the ground, they were dead.

Sandra had been watching Michael���s face. She said, ���Let���s go to the cave.���

���What? Are you serious? Now?���

���Do you have any hope at all that Houston is going to find a way to fix this?���

���No. Not really.���

���Nor do I. So instead of sitting here waiting for a solution that doesn���t exist, let���s do something useful. Let���s explore the cave and see if we can find any indications of life on Mars. I don���t know about you, but for me, a discovery like that would make this trip worthwhile, regardless of whether we get home.���

Michael thought about it. It was a crazy idea. It was an awesome, crazy idea. He picked up the microphone. ���Houston, this is Olympus Base. While we wait for your response, we���ve decided to make an excursion to the cave. We will be back in several hours and will contact you immediately upon our return. Olympus Base out.���

Michael was glad the COM was currently out of communication range on the other side of the planet. He didn���t want to hear Jerome tell him what a moron he was being. He and Sandra suited up quickly, hoping to get out of the MEL before Houston ordered them to stop.

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The atmosphere was still clouded with dust from the storm, but there was plenty of light to see by. The walk to the base of the cliff was fairly easy. There were a few small to medium-sized craters they had to circle around, but none of them presented any real difficulty. They found the ledge that they had seen on the drone footage and carefully began to climb to the cave entrance, now clearly visible.

It took some effort. Sandra almost lost her footing at one point, but Michael had been quick to catch her. A tumble here could result in a ruptured suit, which would be disastrous. They arrived at the cave door without further incident and stepped inside.

It was dark, and they turned on the flashlights built into their helmets. Sandra walked to one of the cave walls and chipped off some samples. ���There are some small striations in the rock that could be due to microorganism activity. This could be really important. I just wish we could get this sample back to Earth.���

���Holy shit,��� said Michael. ���Am I going crazy? Tell me I���m not. Or tell me I am, because I don���t know which is better.���

���What are you going on ab��� Holy shit, Michael! Is this some kind of joke? Did you bring that with you?���

���You know I didn���t. How could I hide THAT from you on the long walk out here? It was just sitting there.���

They both stared at the picnic basket.

The basket that could not possibly be here.

In a cave.

On Mars.

���Open it,��� Sandra said.

���You open it,��� Michael said.

���You���re the Commanding Officer.���

���And I command you to open it.���

���Michael!���

Michael approached the picnic basket and slowly lifted the lid, ready to jump back if necessary. He knew it was impossible for anything to be alive inside the basket. But he also knew it was impossible for the basket to be here at all. So what did he know about what was possible?

When it was open he stared at the contents and said, ���No ��� frigging ��� way.���

Sandra stepped forward and they both looked down.

Inside the basket were two letter-sized envelopes. And several coils of high-gauge wire.

���We���ve gone insane,��� Michael said. ���That���s the only logical explanation.���

���And we���re both having the same delusion?���

���Must be.���

���Well, hell, Michael, let���s pick up the basket and see if our mutual delusion can get us off this goddamn planet before NASA decides to send our ride home without us.���

Michael closed the top of the basket. He picked it up by its convenient carrying handle and they began the walk back to the MEL.

���How on Earth are we going to explain this?��� Michael asked.

���We can���t say anything about it, Michael. They���re going to say we���re crazy. No one will believe this. Hell, I don���t believe this.���

���Then how do we explain where the cable came from?���

���We don���t. We say we found it stuffed behind one of the access panels. We don���t know how it got there.���

���How do we explain the envelopes?���

���We don���t. We examine them when we get off this planet and try to figure out what it all means.���

���How do we explain the picnic basket?���

���We don���t. We leave it outside the MEL and forget we ever found it. I don���t want to go straight to an insane asylum when we get back to Earth. Do you?���

When they got back to the MEL, they contacted Houston and indicated that the cave visit had been successful and that they were carrying samples that might indicate the past existence of microbial life on the planet. More importantly, on a second search of the MEL they found some spare high-gauge wire behind one of the access panels. They were connecting it now.

Ten minutes later the speakers transmitted, ���Olympus Base, I was instructed to give you hell for making that unapproved excursion, but after hearing your message I don���t have the heart. Congratulations on your find at the cave. Hopefully the sample will confirm your assumption. And we are extremely excited about your discovery of the high-gauge wire. No one down here was aware that it was on board, but we are sure glad that you found it. If possible, please depart Mars at the next blast window, which should be 25 minutes from the time you receive this message. Over.���

Michael laughed. ���You can bet that they are going bonkers down there right now, trying to figure out how that wire got on board.��� He connected the new wires.

When the COM returned to their side of the planet, Jerome was overjoyed to hear the news. The replacement cable worked like a charm and the MEL blasted off without incident. Once they were in orbit and waiting to intersect with COM, Sandra picked up the two envelopes.

���You won���t believe this, Michael. This letter is addressed to both of us, by name.���

���You���re right. I don���t believe it. What���s it say?���

���It says, ���Please forgive the use of a picnic basket. It���s all I had handy at the time. I hope I purchased the right kind of wire. Congratulations on your success and have a pleasant journey home. Z���.���

���Z? Who the hell is ���Z���?���

���I haven���t a clue. The other letter is addressed to ��� Susan Parsnip! Oh, my God!���

���What? What���s the matter, Sandra? Who is Susan Parsnip?���

���She���s my 93-year-old maternal grandmother. This just gets weirder and weirder. Should I open it?���

���Hell, no, you shouldn���t open it! It���s addressed to your grandmother, and this ���Z��� person just saved both our lives. You will deliver this letter in person to your grandmother. And I want to be there when you do.���

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Six and a half months later, Sandra and Michael sat at Susan Parsnip���s dining room table and enjoyed a cup of tea and a slice of chocolate cake. They told Susan the story of the picnic basket and handed over the envelope.

Susan took a letter opener from the side table and inserted it into the fold with a shaky hand. She opened the envelope and removed a slip of paper.

���My Dear Susan,��� she read aloud, ���I hope you are well and that life has treated you with the respect you so greatly deserve. I know you have a wonderful granddaughter, at least. First woman on Mars! Isn���t that something? Anyway, I think you will agree now that we are officially even. My best wishes for your life and afterlife. Always remember: magic is real. Yours truly, Barry. (a.k.a. The Great Zucchini).���

As she finished reading, Susan noticed there was something else in the envelope.

It was a playing card.

The four of clubs.

���Grandma? I hope you have an explanation for this,��� said Sandra. ���Michael and I have been debating whether to seek psychiatric treatment.���

Susan smiled, looked at her granddaughter and her friend, and began to tell her story.

���I first met The Great Zucchini in 1965, following one of his late-night shows in Harlem. After being sawn in half and put back together, his previous assistant had run screaming from the theater������

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Pete Simons