2020 – Anchors Away
Is my situation bad or good?
“It depends.”
It depends on what are you comparing it to.
Comparing a situation to something worse is called “anchoring” and can help to put things in perspective and build gratitude.
In our household, we use the anchoring technique all the time. When something bad happens, the refrain in our house is: “Well, at least we’re not at Treblinka.” Or “at least we’re not living in a pit.” Harkening to the incredibly horrible situation that Jews found themselves in during the Holocaust, can provide perspective on the hardship we find ourselves struggling with. By educating ourselves more deeply about what happened during the Holocaust, we can appreciate what we have and live a more grateful life.
This year – 2020 – has given us so many opportunities to practice anchoring.
Can you remember the before times? It’s hard.
Those were days when we weren’t afraid of being near another human. Our glasses were not in a permanent state of fog because of a mask over our nose and mouth. We never even heard of Zoom.
2020 provided me plenty of opportunities to anchor my gratitude.
August – I tripped and fell, breaking my ankle and spraining the other one. This put me into 2 boots and a wheelchair for a month, and then a boot and crutches for another 3 months.
September – my leg swelled up like a balloon – it was a blood clot. Who gets a blood clot in their leg? That’s crazy.
November – Covid-19 came visiting. My son, husband and I all contracted the virus. At first, this gave us a scare because no one knows how his or her body will react to the virus. But our cases were “mild” with fever, chills, cough, fatigue, and the Covid-head fog. I was isolated in my bedroom for 5 days (that felt like a year) and was laid low for about three weeks.
One could argue that 2020, the last year of my 6th decade, was one of the worst years of my life.
But this is not how I feel. I feel that 2020 was one of the best years ever. On January 10, I will turn 60 and I am grateful to be alive and consider myself extremely lucky.
Without taking away the horror of the year – the sickness, so many, many death, the economic loss and pain, the loneliness, I want to anchor my experiences and make the case that I had a great 2020.
First, in January of 2020, my grandson, Teddy (Srulik) Goldberg, was four months old. Over the course of these past 12 months, I watched him development and grow from an infant who grasps rattles, to a toddler who walks, runs, climbs, eats food, says words, laughs, and has a smile so big that it melts your heart. The privilege of watching the miracle of his human development up close, as the Bubbi, has been a joy.
During the Pandemic I launched my 60 second flash briefing podcast – Gratitude in a Minute (please listen). This gave me the opportunity to allow gratitude to show up in my life every day and especially on days when there wasn’t so much to smile about. Recording these 60 second pieces serves as my gratitude journal, encouraging me to pause and appreciate. Today episode #274 plays.
The great fall and the exploding leg brought physical pain and discomfort, but it also brought overwhelming messages of care, love and concern from friends and family. I couldn’t walk, buy my health was otherwise excellent and with some time and physical therapy, I will recover and regain full mobility. I am already walking on both my feet, just not 100% healed yet. This debacle helped me appreciate that ordinarily I take the working of my body for granted.
In September I was determined to meet the twins. I made it to New York (wheelchair assist – totally the way to go) and stayed for three weeks. Getting to spend time with these two babies, so different from each other, brought joy and a sense of awe.
Then in November, my mild case of Covid-19 granted me super-power antibodies. Taking advantage of my superpowers, I hopped on an airplane to New York and visited the twins for a week. I got to see how they had changed over the previous two months and got to again hold, feed and share the love.
Now as we get to kick this year in the ass and say goodbye. We can pause as we look in the rear-view mirror and ask ourselves if there is a way to frame this miserable year with some positivity? Ask yourself, what good things happened to me this year? You may surprise yourself.
It will be a rough winter, no question about that, but spring and summer are around the corner. As more people receive the Covid-19 vaccine, we will emerge from our homes and become reacquainted with one another and with the world around us. Let’s anchor our experiences to help us get to the other side with our sanity intact and with feelings of compassion and gratitude.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
