Routine
In our house, our days are planned down to the very last minute. We have a calendar that lists our meals, workout plans, appointments, and everything in between. We meal prep every Sunday, so all our meals are ready to go before the week even starts. My wife and I even have a scheduled television time right before bed. It sounds crazy, but without this schedule, we wouldn’t be able to make it through our week successfully. Our schedule provides consistency, transparency, and helps us make sure we are taking care of each other and ourselves.
Bottom line: our schedule keeps me sane.
…but then we stopped following it.
It started with school being cancelled. I no longer had to wake up at 5 each morning, so I stopped making my meals for the week.
Then we pulled the kids from daycare, so we stopped setting alarms to wake up before them.
Last, we decided to social distance ourselves from others, so I had no reason to get dressed each morning, or even (in all honestly) shower.
Over the course of a few days, our home was in a free-for-all. We’d all get off to a slower start in the morning, which made our day feel lazier and less productive. We watched a little too much TV the first few days (thanks Disney+), so we found everyone held onto a ton of pent up energy. Before we knew it, it was 10:30 and neither me nor my wife had worked out, or done anything productive for the day.
The impact this unstructured day had was evident from day one, but I especially noticed the impact it had on me. No structure meant I found myself scrolling through my phone all day long. I wouldn’t go five minutes without picking it up to “check something.” Every now and then it would be spent liking photos on Instagram, but a majority of my time was spent falling into a coronavirus spiral on Twitter and news websites. I’d obsess about all the information, all while using the excuse that I needed to stay “informed.”
By the end of the night I could feel the physical effect of all this anxiety. I would not consider myself an anxious person, but consuming all this information, stressing over things I could not control, and refusing the disengage from the topic, caused my head to hurt. I was moody, less patient, and overall a worse husband and father than I wanted to be.
I think as parents it’s always expressed how important structure is for children, but I think sometimes we forget to mention it is also important for us. I hated how our first few days went, and I knew I wouldn’t like myself if things continued going the way they were, so we quickly adapted. We made plans, structured the day, and focused on what needed to happen for us to not go crazy.
This is an unprecedented time. It is important to stay informed, but I found getting the information once a day was just as productive as getting it every five seconds.
If you feel similar, or know someone who does, focus on making a schedule. Set an alarm, workout, and take care of yourself. If you do, you’ll find everyone around you benefits from those choices. Adjusting to my new quarantined life, and making a schedule, has allowed me to focus on those around me.
We don’t know how long we will be living this life, but we do know that each morning we can wake up and only focus on what we can control.
