After yesterday’s signal fire I sent out to you, I wanted to...

After yesterday’s signal fire I sent out to you, I wanted to practice what I preached, I wanted to prove to you that it is possible to be vulnerable, to open yourself wide open to someone coming in and saving you. This, my friends, is precisely what happened to me. I’m going to tell you truths that not many know, parts of me that I just don’t speak of often, as even though I give out basically every thought in my head, I don’t speak about me or my past often. For a long, long time, I was sick with various ailments, stomach conditions that we now know come from a long list of food allergies and intolerances, but also sick with this misbelief that I was destined for a very still, very sheltered life. I convinced myself that the world didn’t need me, and I didn’t need it, and I was perfectly fine staying at home in my tiny bubble, forever. I washed out any desire for travel, for adventure, for seeing what this wide world had to offer, and I lost myself. For years I lost myself to the point where I barely left the house, barely even ventured as far as the grocery store, and I was miserable because of this. Call it good fortune, just as this haiku says, call it fate, call it luck, call it whatever you wish, but Sarah came and saved me. She didn’t allow for the excuses I offered up, she didn’t buy the brilliant bullshit I’d become so accustomed to telling as to why I needed to avoid the world, why it didn’t need me. Put simply, she refused to let me wallow, refused to let me wither.

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I still remember the first time she helped me get back onto an airplane, the first time she convinced me I was capable of living a life again. She came and she changed everything, and I don’t know how many ways I can explain that she truly saved my life. Everything I have, everything I’ve seen, done, become, and am waiting to turn into, is because she had the patience, the tenderness, the grace, and the love to help me find again. The smallest thing I can do is to thank her, the best thing I can offer to you, is to be this to the people in your life, and if you’re lucky enough to have someone be this to you, hold on tight, and worship them for the saviors they are. (at Fort William, Highland)

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