Ode to Crappy Germs OR My Family Has Spread the Love OR I'm Sick and I Can't Write Nuthing

Cressy said, "My ear hurts."  It was Saturday evening and not much was to be done.  So Sunday was about the same and Monday I took her to the doctor who said, "Ear infection."  (You know, doctors are all about brevity except when it comes to my weight.)  (I might have blogged about this subject a few times before.)  (Maybe.)

Just after the doctor's appointment, my ears started to hurt.  (At first I thought it was sympathetic pains.)  For the rest of the day, Cressy and I laid about like useless zombies, watching a whole lot of Disney XD, eating brain-flavored popcorn.  (Not really.  Did you know popcorn DOES NOT come in brain-flavored?  Someone is missing a whole zombie market there.)  Also we watched some Cartoon Network.  We took a break from that to also watch Bolt.  (I liked Mittens in there.  She's a cat who blackmailed pigeons into bringing her food.  I think that's pretty bodacious.)

Tuesday, Cressy was better.  I was worse.  (I'm pretty sure someone was beating me with numchucks while I was asleep.)  (Why do they call them numchucks?  Do they numb your body after you've been beaten with them?)  HIM said, "If you get even worse you must go to the doctor, too."  I shrieked, "NOOOOOO!!!!!  Not the doctor, I hate the doctor.  Him and his little dentist friends, too.  I want a curandera or a witch doctor.  I want to sacrifice a goat.  Or a bucket of chicken from KFC.  ANYTHING but a regular medical doctor."

But the germs had taken hold.  I have a mental image of germs being like little mobsters that I must expunge into an artistic venue.


But then I had to wonder if I was being biased.  Who says germs have to be from New Jersey?  Or wherever mobsters hang out?  (Sorry, I did watch the entire Sopranos series and I think the ending sucked.)

So there are definitely different kinds of germs, right?  Who's to say these aren't southern germs infecting me?


And there goes my imagination.  I'm thinking like you know, Valspeak germs.  (For those of you who don't know this, go watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure or Clueless.)  (Like, gross me out to the max.)




Of course, that sets my mind to thinking about stereotypes and I'm so not done.

I was going for wicked-bad biker germ but I couldn't figure out how to put it in leathers and a little Nazi-looking helmet.  But hey only a true bad ass can get away with wearing a yellow Harley shirt.
Next up, your common everyday comedian germ.  He's appearing every night this week in my body.  Whether I like it or not. Well, alrighty then.  I think that's it for me this week.  I'd headed for the kitchen and getting the ibuprofen out.