Booklover Carols: What Else Can I Do?
Happy holidays, whichever and however you celebrate.
If you’ve been a faithful blog reader, you know that most years I favor (?) you with a Booklover’s Carol at Christmas. The carols are based on the more traditional variety, and I’ve had fun coming up with terrible renditions to delight or horrify you. Either reaction is acceptable.
Some of my past favorites were:
Here Comes Amazon (sung to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus.)
Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
Right to your front door,
UPS or US postman
Bringing books and more
Doorbell ringing, VISA singing
Profits on the rise
So clear a space ‘neath the Christmas tree
For Amazon’s latest prize.
Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
With your favorite tome
You made a wish list for your friends
So they could shop at home
Don’t need Santa or Old St. Nick,
Computer did it all
So stick the box ‘neath your Christmas tree
‘Cause Amazon came to call.
Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
Without a reindeer sleigh
All the things you ever wanted
One “enter” key away
Peace on earth will come to all
If Amazon prices it right
So let’s give thanks to *Bezos himself
‘Cause Amazon comes tonight.
(*Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s CEO and not Beelzebub.)
And a more sentimental carol for all the indie bookstores that have closed:
I’ll Shop There For Christmas (sung to the tune of I’ll Be Home For Christmas)
I’ll shop there for Christmas
You can count on me
Please wrap Poe with mistletoe
To place beneath my tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where bestsellers gleam
I’ll shop there for Christmas
If only in my dreams
I’ll shop there for Christmas
I can count on you
You know where to find Jane Eyre
And Dan Brown’s latest, too.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where “for rent” signs gleam
I’ll shop there for Christmas
If only in my dreams.
I had no plans for another. Sometimes less is definitely more. However creativity strikes at the oddest times and in the oddest ways. I suggested some headlines for 2020 Christmas letters in my newsletter this month and one of my readers suggested another: I’ll Still Be Here For Christmas.
Yes, indeed. Of course this was the seed for another carol. After all, this is a year unlike any other. So enjoy or ignore…
I’ll Be Here For Christmas (sung to the tune of I’ll Be Home For Christmas.)
I’ll be here for Christmas
You can count on me
I will bask in my favorite mask
Beneath our Christmas tree
Christmas Day will find me
Safe in quarantine
I’ll be here for Christmas
Uninfected and unseen
I have soaked in Clorox
Cookies and fruitcake
I have broiled, and I have boiled
Every gift I make
Christmas Day will find me
Fighting off the gloom
I’ll be here for Christmas
Trading hugs with friends on Zoom.
If that’s not enough for you–you are among the rarest of the rare if this is true–you can find more carols from previous years here.
Wishing each and every one of you a wonderful “stay at home” holiday.
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