Learning from mistakes
If I read a book that I find a lot of flaws in, I won’t review it. Often the author is a beginner, and I don’t want to discourage anyone from writing a book. But I will share the flaws I found in the book so others can learn from their mistakes. I will share what I learned from two mysteries I recently read.
One was a cozy which is a mystery genre where the crime is not described and occurs “offstage.” In this cozy the prologue is from the point of view of the murderer who is placing bricks in place to bury the body of his wife. Very Edgar Allan Poe which had my interest but that great opening scene was not matched in the story.
One hundred years later the new owner of the historical and haunted house is doing renovations and the handyman finds the bones of two people behind the brick wall. It’s a great idea, and I read the entire story but very little was shared about the couple or why they ended up in the wall. This story begged to be a parallel story with the past linked to the present but not of that happened.
The story had a subplot about a stolen nativity scene that was a big distraction and had nothing to do with the past murders or modern murder introduced about half way through the story. This is way too late for a murder in a mystery novel. The new murder must occur early in the story and the fun for the reader is figuring out who did it. This whodunit had only a few remaining chapters to interview suspects and solve the crime. Another let down was the weapon, which turned out to be an over-the-counter poison administered accidentally.
Villains need to be bad. Don’t go in half way and try to redeem them. They also need a strong motive for committing murder.
The biggest flaw was the series was named for the heroine of the story but she plays no active role in figuring out the crime. She doesn’t find the bones, she doesn’t own the B&B where the bones or murder take place and her husband is a professional investigator and solves the crime with very little help from her. Even an amateur sleuth has to have an active part in the mystery. She should discover the body or be present when it is found, which would have been easy in this story. She should also find the clues and speculate on the suspects. The wrong person was chosen as the heroine. The heroine’s best friend and owner of the B&B would have been a better choice.
Another problem was the POV. In a mystery the point of view should be the one solving the mystery but this story jumped from one person to another as the story progressed. The writing was clean and this writer could create a good product, but she needs to figure out the rules of her genre and follow them.
The other mystery was a traditional whodunit written by a man using familiar locations for the setting. Someone familiar with the site had no problem picturing it. but he did not provide enough details to create a visual for the reader. It is a good idea to write about something familiar but remember the reader has never been there, and a writer should place a few lines of well written description at the beginning of a chapter to give your characters a stage. This writer was strong on dialogue and plotting but weak on description and giving the characters something to do so the people in it weren’t talking heads. This writer also had a problem with POV, letting us into everyone’s head although he did stay in the main character’s head most of the time.
The villain in this story was a troubled teenager and the adults in it felt sympathetic toward him. This sent confusing messages, especially when the teen kidnaps two of the women. Teen villains belong in young adult stories. The villain should have been an adult with a strong motive for killing the victim in the story. Remember, you can’t have a hero without a villain and they should be equally balanced.
The characters in this book and the other had minor flaws but it is better to have a character grow through the experience. In the first book, the owner of the B&B is starting over after an abusive relationship but we learn nothing about the former husband or how she has changed. In this one the lead has had several relationships that have failed but the only one he improves is the one with his father. It was difficult to identify and sympathize with the lead character. Remember when Harry Potter is introduced to the reader, he is living under the stairs. Who doesn’t sympathize with a boy living in a closet? Your main character needs to be the underdog at the beginning and triumph at the end or what does the reader have to root for?
Reading good and poorly written books can help you become a better writer but analyze what you read. I liked both books but when I went to review them, the flaws jumped out, and I couldn’t promote them. I hope they grow as writers and maybe I’ll review something in the future.
More reviews can be found at authorfreeman.wordpress.com
