CHILDREN OF THE CHAINSAW

Few films have impacted the horror movie landscape like 1974’s “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.” The bleak and grungy indictment of the meat industry (among other things) has inspired easily hundreds of imitators, emulators and homages, to this day. Have any matched its ferocity? Its relentless nightmare-inducing power? Its doom-soaked terror?

In this series we examine the many lookalikes and imitations to see which are the worthy tributes and which are mere rip-off hack jobs. I’ll do my best to keep it spoiler-free.

Blood Salvage:
A decade and a half removed from the release of its inspiration, “Salvage” makes good use of many TCM-spawned tropes, such as a wheelchair-bound victim, a bickering family of hillbillies living amid the littered autos and belongings of former victims, and of course, an assured antagonistic patriarch with disarming country charm offset by a creepy leer.

As with TCM, there’s a voiceover early on, which in this case turns out to be from the aforementioned paternal antagonist himself — crazy ol’ Jake Pruitt, played by Danny Nelson.

“We prefer the term Inclince William.”

This hillbilly clan’s M.O. is not cannibalism, but rather cleverly, organ harvesting.It’s a unique alternative that makes at least as much sense as TCM’s anthropophaginian butcher theme. The macabre vision of dimly lit captive victims kept barely alive until ready for harvest recalls “Motel Hell.” There are also passing references to Craven’s “The Hills Have Eyes.” 

Conspicuously missing is any version of the iconic Leatherface type figure. Though there is an oversized, mental-handicap, he’s hardly an imposing presence like Bubba Sawyer. In his place we get a tribute from a different Hooper film, “Eaten Alive” aka “Legend of The Bayou” in the form of an alligator that pops ( more like shuffles. actually) out from behind derelict cars at opportune times. He’s no speedster, but alligators don’t need to be fast to be scary. 

Don’t worry. They say organs keep best in dirty styrofoam.

Interesting are a couple of odd foreshadowings for the 2003 TCM remake. The exterior pf the film’s house of horrors, glanced in its fullness only a couple of times, looks more than a little like the Hewitt estate. There is also the sheriff who turns out to be in league wth ol’ Jake and the boys. 

Shit like this is how you become My Least Favorite Martian, Ray.

The interior of the house is fittingly dated and depressing, more reminiscent of the macabre main setting of “Deranged.”  Then there’s the vast dark barn where the fellas keep their half-dead “donors” complete with a sound system over which Jake likes to spread the gospel while performing slap-dash surgery. Other “patients” are encouraged to answer back his calls of praise, on threat of a drilling. Not the good kind.

Yet “Salvage” also distinguishes itself with a few inventive tweaks. 

Final girl April is unique among her brethren, if inconsistent. She tends to vacilate between heroic and sort of annoying, but Lori Birdson is never less than convincing in the role. What happens to her character is as harrowing as anything experienced by Sally Hardesty, perhaps even moreso, given the context.  Ol’ Jake’s attraction to the girl, whom he spots at a beauty contest early on, is almost complicated. Initially, he seems to view her as a surrogate daughter but quickly adopts the idea of her as his bride-to-be. Fair warning, there a near-rape scene, which would be considered restrained compared to the rather common exploitation trend of the era. 

By contrast, TCM’s band of merry murderers never acknowledge the sexuality or even humanity of their female victims, brilliantly underscoring the idea that the girls are regarded merely as livestock.  Likewise, TCM did not have an overt religious angle, leaving us with the the existential despair that there will be no divine comeuppance for the villians, nor intervention for our hapless hippies. With “Salvage,” the fact that the bad guys are religious, while hardly a fresh angle, does give a similar sense of the futility of religion, adding to the feeling of doom. I prefer TCM’s stripped down/God is absent approach, but there’s no denying that the old trope of evil evangelicals is well used here.

In terms of supporting cast, the decision makers for “Blood Salvage” did not eff around. While TCM made do with unknowns, “Salvage” has some seasoned talent on its roster. First up – John Saxon. It’s not a large role from the man who co-starred with Bruce Lee, went after the “Black Christmas” killer, and played an unstoppable cyborg in arguably the best episode of “The Six Million Dollar Man.”

Ladies and gentlemen — John Saxon.

“My Favorite Martian” star Ray Walston is the organ broker who moves Jake’s product. His fearful distaste for “that lizard” -the aforementioned alligator- serves, along with Ms. Birdsong’s performance, to make the scaly beast scarier than it other wise could have been, given its torpid (presumably drugged) demeanor. 

The Hitchhiker role is filled by Christian Hesler as Hiram. Like the hitchhiker and later Chop Top, Hiram bickers with his father, bullies his brother and generally serves as a vile foil for our put upon family and especially for April, as they are close in age. Something about that feels like betrayal. Hesler is good in this, his only real role.  He drives a souped-up Torino tricked out with a spiky rebel flag-shaped front end attachment useful for bashing victim’s vehicles from behind. This gives the film opportunities for some highway carnage and stunts, bringing a little variety to the mix.

Then there’s Evander Holyfield, a boyhood idol of mine. He plays himself, with the late Lou Duva alongside as a sort of carny barker coaxing carnival participants to take a crack at the champ. It’s fun and funny; a nice little easter egg for fight fans.

Holyfield was brought in because of his real-life expereince with cannibalism.

At the risk of creating overblown expectations, I have to comment on the climax. It doesn’t copy TCM’s insane finale by any means, but very much pays its respects. If nothing else does, the end of “Blood Salvage” makes it a worthy tribute to TCM.