My hypo manic mood swing….

I wrote the following in 2007. Nothing has really changed in terms of what bipolar disorder does- but I can say that I still use  my treatment plan and I haven't made any manic mistakes in a long time!

**

It was just lovely. I remember driving down the road to my house thinking. Is this what normal feels like? This is so wonderful. I've been doing so well lately! Maybe this is the real me!

And right then I knew I was manic. It was a huge disappointment. I had been having so much fun. I wasn't covered in the depression fog when I went out. I didn't eat junk food and I could talk to anyone.

I can't believe how it snuck up on me. I haven't had a winter manic episode in a very long time.

My family and friends noticed it first. They all know how to use my Health Cards and started talking to me about the mania. I was SO upset to hear them bring it up – which is another sign that I'm manic. I don't want anyone ruining my party! After only three days of enjoying the mania I started to see the reality of the situation. I needed to do something about the mood swing immediately. I got out my Health Cards and did what they suggested. I was so sad that it wasn't going to last. The depression started about a week later. It took so long to start I really thought I just might have made it through this time- but no luck. The depression hit me very hard.

It's like being taken to heaven and then dropped straight down into the pit of hell.

I hate this illness. It lies and tells me things that aren't true and then lies again and on and on. I was diagnosed 10 years ago, so I have my tools to deal with this now. I no longer go on a manic rampage of men, money and travel, but it's still hard to deal with the fact that the happiness is so brief. All of us with euphoric mania feel this way. At least I had a good time for a week and didn't make any mistakes!

Julie

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