Shadow and Light

Tolkien's Modern Reading A Christmas Carol

Shadow and Light

I am half agony, half hope.

— Jane Austen, Persuasion

Several Christmases ago, my mother gave me a mug. In the midst of a sky blue lace pattern, printed on thin white china, a quotation could also be discerned: “I am half agony, half hope.” It’s from Jane Austen’s novel Persuasion, spoken by Anne Elliot. “It reminded me of you” said my mother. I laughed. The walls of my soul are thinner than the average bear, and so joy and sorrow slip through in equal waves of intensity. Joy and sorrow are close by. And my mother has seen it all. It is good to be known.

I’ve thought about that mug a lot this year. It’s easy to see the agony in this year— the death, the division, the loss of jobs, the long, long waiting. We are aware, so aware of the agony, but we cannot help but notice intimations of hope. So many marriages, babies, kindnesses and creative solutions in the midst of craziness. In some ways, it is the hope which leads to the agony. Because we have tasted so keenly, and sensed so intuitively, how good and beautiful life is meant to be.

The Apostle Paul describes creation and mankind as groaning with hope in Romans 8:

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerlyfor our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?

Who hopes for what they already have? It’s a great question, and speaks powerfully to the posture of the Christian life. In advent we celebrate the Comings of Christ; yes, I meant for that to be plural. Christ has come, “the light has shown in the darkness, and the darkness could not overcome it" (John 1:5). It is good news, but it is not complete. The King has come, is coming, but it is not finished. We await Christ’s second coming, the completion of creation, the redemption of all good things.

We hope for what we do not have.

Christians, then, are people who are half agony and half hope. We have tasted the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13), and because we know that goodness, we feel more keenly the ugliness of the world, it’s unfinished nature. I love how Julian of Norwich describes it. She says that because of Christ’s promise in our heart, we feel an irrepressible joy, but because we are still in this broken world of suffering, we grieve and sorrow to know that we and all creation are not yet at home in God. So we are, as puts it, “this glorious mixture of joy and sorrow.”

In advent, we wait with Mary for the birth of Christ. But we also learn to live in the waiting for the redemption of all things. We learn to live with our glorious mixture of joy and sorrow, our half agony and half hope, proclaiming that it is the joy and the hope which are most secure, most fundamentally true. We remind ourselves that we live in in-between times. We acknowledge that the groaning, the agony, the sorrow we sometimes feel is true, reasonable, and even right to feel. We learn to live well in the waiting.

I wish you all well in the waiting. A beautiful season of coziness, and pressing in, and feeling God’s love. In this blog, I’m attaching a few of my favourite resources, including a podcast I recently recorded with my friend Tsh Oxenreider about her new book Shadow and Light. It came from many years of advent traditions in her family. I hope you enjoy the podcast, and you should pick up a copy of her book. She also has a lovely advent playlist! Listen in, I’ve been enjoying it very much.

I also love Malcolm Guite’s collection of poetry and reflections for each day of advent, Waiting on the Word. I always look forward to Biola’s Centre for Christianity Culture and the Art’s online advent calendar, which sends a painting, song, poem, and scripture reading for each day of advent and Christmas. And of course, I recorded a series of advent podcasts two years ago that you may enjoy. I’ll attach those below. :)

Tidings of comfort and cheer, friends. Wait well.

Much love!

Joy

Podcast with Tsh Oxenreider…

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Meet Tsh…

Part intrepid pilgrim and scrutinizer of cultural oddities, part whimsical homebody and charming troglodyte, my name really and truly is spelled correctly. You pronounce it as though there’s an i, like Tish, unless you’re a Starbucks barista, in which you pronounce it Lucy because you give them a fake name to avoid the hassle.

I’m a writer and podcaster who loves traveling and staying home, guacamole and pad thai (but not together), the Internet and the persnickety pulchritude of a really good pen, reading thick novels and a good old-fashioned TV binge, my Kindle and the smell of old books.

I’m currently spending most of my creative energy on book writing (next oneout October 2020!), launching my new podcast called The Good List, and writing longer form + interacting with readers in Books & Crannies, my newsletter. The best way to keep up with me is via my free weekly email letter called 5 Quick Things, though I do chat from time to time on Twitter.