The Fiver | The speed with which elite footballers are becoming unavailable

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The Fiver might be in its mid-forties, with a BMI to match, but we’re not giving up our dream of becoming a professional footballer just yet. The speed with which elite players are becoming unavailable means there could yet be a surge in demand for our unique brand of languorous false 90. Of course, there are two main reasons for this: Covid-19, and football’s decision to undertake an impromptu physiological study in an attempt to discover how long elite athletes can survive in the red zone before their muscles start screaming for mercy. At the time of phoning this tea-time email in, the list of unavailable Premier League players on the Fantasy Football Scout website is – and you’ll like this – 21 pages long.

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