Faulty Advice Friday | rottnblossm

Welcome to Faulty Advice Friday! This is the place to get your toughest questions answered.

Lydia,

My dad just started dating again, and his new girlfriend is the pits! How can I break my dad and his girlfriend up?

rottnblossm, Florida

Greetings rottnblossm!

Navigating the awkwardly uncertain seas of someone else’s love life is a tricky task. If you feel up to the challenge, let’s quit wasting time.

If you happen to be lucky enough to go to a lush af summer camp only to discover your long lost identical twin, stop reading here. There’s an entire movie (and remake) with step by step guides on how to make your dad’s girl run for the hills. On the more probable chance that you aren’t an unrealistic character with incredibly bizarre and unlikely situations arising throughout your life—I offer you the following:

As all of us know by now, Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on. Unless this woman has a daughter named Stacy, I’m fairly confident your father will be able to escape the succubus’ vile and despicable wiles. (To all those with Stacy step-siblings, we salute you