December 2020 Wrap-Up/ Going Forward
This year my reading list is 125 books, which does seem insane. And it is. But there is a method to my madness!
That method being... I'm determined to clean out my "to read" shelf on this here lovely website. I went through already and deleted everything I wasn't interested in and knew I wouldn't enjoy (or even just rare/hard to find books I knew would be too expensive), which left... 125 books. Not to say I have to FINISH all of them... If I hit the 25% mark and it sucks, I'm allowed to DNF.
I'm allowed to count all comics, kid's books, and re-reads towards the goal, because why the hell not. The world's on fire and I'm screaming into a void, anyway. (Note: An unfinished book does NOT count towards my reading goal. That's my one remaining rule.)
... But before I go stuff myself with birthday cake (when you're a grown-up, you're allowed to eat directly out of the pan, and you don't have to share), here's what I read in December 2020:
So... Yeah, The Only Good Indians is classified as horror, but I don't know if that's what I'd call it. There are moments that are gory and horrifying (tw for a LOT of graphic, violent animal death, btw), but more than that it was about Blackfeet culture and heritage and family bonds and old friendships and... You know me; I'm a SUCKER for deep, lifelong bonds between messy, complicated characters. The first half was SUCH a mindfuck that I thought it was gonna be another "Bunny," but at the second half it explains and wraps itself up gorgeously; full-circle-style. I cannot articulate to you how GORGEOUS the writing was. I may be a little obsessed with the author, now. It's a cliché to say something is Stephen King-esque, but it specifically reminded me of the best parts of his "Dreamcatcher" in the relationships and characters. That said, it's much better and trimmer than that; all the meat, none of the fat. Pun not intended (or is it???).
Shockingly, I never read the Artemis Fowl series as a child. I say "shockingly" because it features two things I love above all else: fairies, and villain protagonists. Anyway; it was... Fine. It was very cleverly written; you can tell Colfer is brilliant and puts a ton of effort and care into his work. But it was also... Goofy and juvenile, and I've been spoiled rotten by the dark themes and violence and "war is hell" atmosphere of Animorphs. I've never really gravitated towards the lighthearted, even when I was a kid. I prefer my fairies to be bloodthirsty. (That's no shade on this series, by the way. I totally see why it's beloved. I 100% understand that not everything can or even SHOULD be heavy. It's just a matter of preference.)
Something is Killing the Children is a hit graphic novel series, not even a year old and already winning awards, with chapters released monthly (for free! On Hoopla!) Oh MAN, what a story... As the title suggests, there is a beast in the woods slaughtering an unlucky city's children by the dozens. More go missing (or are found in pieces) every night. Unfortunately, this beast is completely invisible to adults... Save for one. Erica, a mysterious newcomer to the city, works with the few children who survive encounters with the beast to hunt and eliminate it. Trigger warnings for gore and child death (obviously); volume one has graphic images of what remains after the beast's attack pretty early on, and it only gets worse from there. I've read the first few volumes already... It's one of those things where I just need to sit down and power through the rest, the first moment my ADHD-riddled brain will allow.
I haven't re-read the HP series in... Woof, eight years? Nine? I'm so old! Anyway, in light of Rowling outing herself as a shitty human being, I guess the morbidly curious masochist in me wanted to see how well the series held up. They shaped such a huge part of my life, true, but most of that was just fandom experience/fanfiction; the empire we built on the books' bones. As an author myself, I fully endorse "death of the author." Once a book is out in the world, it takes new life inside the minds of readers, and no longer belongs (solely) to the creator. I just hit book #4 in my series re-read (listening to the audiobooks illegally downloaded onto YouTube, of course, so no revenue lines Rowling's overstuffed pockets). Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is a good midpoint; the squad is maturing (slowly, and with lots of hiccups, as all teenagers do). They're taking on new experiences and challenges their book-one selves wouldn't have been capable of handling, emotionally or skill-wise. Particularly interesting is Harry's growing resentment of his abusive homelife (and Ron's feelings towards his own poverty and inadequacy); he's NEVER been an angel to just lie there and take it, but as his confidence grows, he's showing more teeth. I'm putting my feelings for this under a spoiler tag because it gets rather long and rambly
<spoiler>The worldbuilding was expanded considerably in this book, as we're shown more of the wizarding world. Suddenly international wizards, and their cultures, come into play. The cold-blooded murder of Cedric Diggory marks a sharp tonal shift, and the series remains much darker from that point on. (And I will confess, the scene in the hospital, following the events of the graveyard, when Harry about has a meltdown in Mrs. Weasley's arms? That moment always brings tears to my eyes, even many re-reads later.) I'm far more critical of different elements than I was as a young thing (honestly, Ron and Harry don't deserve Hermione. At all. They treat her like trash, and so does the narrative in refusing to give her the same depth of backstory or relationships outside of their trio that it allows the boys to have), but I think the series' strong suit IS writing flawed, realistic characters, and it's quite good at showing platonic relationships and the ageing process, warts and all. (Now, ROMANTIC relationships, on the other hand? Pretty much every romantic relationship is badly written and nonsensical.) I really do NOT appreciate the wash of fat/body shaming that surrounds characters Harry doesn't like (Dursleys, etc); it hurt me as a (gay, insecure, fat) kid, and it hurts worse now. Even the thin characters aren't immune; Snape is, and has always been, my favorite character, and some of the negativity surrounding his appearance feels both racial and gendered. I could nitpick all day about all the problems of this series, but... Honestly, I don't want to. I can't say the appeal is ALL nostalgia, as there are some very good elements, but we shouldn't have put the series on as high of a pedestal as we did. I've read better, I've WRITTEN better, and we as a fandom should expect better of our heroes.</spoiler>
I've been sitting on The Mirador for AGES, so I finally just buckled down and forced myself to finish this beast. Clean slate for 2021, y'know? Anyone going into the Doctrine of Labyrinths series should be aware of ALL the trigger warnings. Just... All of them. (Notably rape, incest, pedophilia/child sex slavery, domestic abuse, gruesome murder, torture...) Half the time it feels like an emo wank-fest... But I won't lie; I'm kinda into emo wank-fests. Sometimes. When they're gay and well-written. And it IS gay and well-written, BUT. (There's always a but.) It is... Very inaccessible to the average Joe (me). I've had to do more research for this series than I have for any other. I had to research the damn caste system for Industrial Revolution France just to BEGIN understanding what the hell was going on. This series just makes up words for things that ALREADY have words (wizards are "hocuses," instead of saying "dominant/submissive," it says "tarquin/martyr," etc. And it NEVER bothers to explain what the hell it's talking about.) Instead of saying someone was 42 years old, they say she's "six septads old." (I'm serious. That happened. I had to do mental multiplication. Monette, whyyy.) You practically have to have a damn flowchart to keep track of all the characters, locations, and "plots." Not to mention, one of the main characters (Felix) becomes so unlikable he's damn near intolerable. Yes; I understand he has bipolar disorder and untreated PTSD. But guess what? I have clinically diagnosed PTSD, too, and I don't go around cheating on my partners or hitting my siblings in the face. Just saying.
Is it worth all the effort and frustration? I'm three books in and I'm still not sure. (I don't even know what the plot is. IS there a plot???) I've had some discussions on my blog with fans of the series, and they say that some of my questions are obvious to high fantasy fans; this level of extreme worldbuilding is just How It Is. I don't usually like high fantasy for that very reason, so... But honestly, where else am I supposed to get that angsty, dirtybadwrong gay incest with BDSM undertones? Outside of fanfiction websites, that is. (Yeah, I'm gross, but at least I'm self-aware. Ain't no shame in my game.)
I was pleasantly surprised to learn that two more Kitty Norville books had been published in 2020... It's been 5 years since the last book, and now we get TWO new ones? Nice! (Incidentally, neither of these books are the new ones. I'm just saying that the fact that new ones exist at all has inspired me to try and finish the series.) Urban fantasy is more my speed when it comes to fantasy subgenres. It's grounded in reality, and deals with modern issues. Kitty is a late-night radio host, who just so happens to be a werewolf. She starts offering advice to any non-human listeners of her show, and thus sparks a Whole Big Thing, including Kitty taking over her abusive pack and even "coming out" to the human public. The series becomes a tale of civil rights as supernatural beings try and integrate with their human peers. Not the most original of concepts, but the worldbuilding is interesting; I've always been a fan of "grounded, scientific explanations for the supernatural." (You'll see a lot of that in my own series, All My Seas.) It's far from perfect, and it takes some weird turns, but the author really lets her historical lit flag fly as she dives deep into legends like Gilgamesh and the founding of Rome as Kitty comes to understand her world. (Emphasis on the "history." Vaughn goes FULL nerd with her Spanish Inquisition-era vampire, and I love that for her.) And here's where I put in another spoiler cut, because I guess I was just feeling really chatty:
<spoiler>Some of my favorite issues the series tackles are the most personal ones, however. For example, when Kitty's mother develops breast cancer, they have a long discussion about immortality and consent as Kitty offers to turn her mother into a werewolf (thus granting her near-immortality and perfect health). Kitty did NOT have a choice when she was turned, and part of her wants to take that choice away from her mother, too; she wants to turn her despite her saying no. Kitty is actively choosing to let her family age and sicken and, eventually, die, when she can do none of those things. She is aware she will, someday, be without them. Then there's the fact that Kitty miscarries several pregnancies before coming to understand that, because her uterus changes shape along with the rest of her body, she CAN'T carry a pregnancy to full-term. That's INTERESTING! That's the level of humanity I want to see in my Urban Fantasy. These books weren't the best of the series... Kitty in the Underworld focuses on Kitty getting kidnapped by a cult of were-felines (again. Kitty herself lampshades that this happens too often), with the intent of defeating the evil vampire, Roman. Low Midnight takes a turn; for the first time (in the main series; it happens a few times in the spin-offs), the entire book is narrated by Cormac, the former were-hunter. Cormac is possibly the most popular side-character in the series; many fans (myself included) were surprised that his romance with Kitty never panned out. They had a fun Buffy/Spike vibe going on.</spoiler>
Animorphs #26-#30 (and two of the spinoffs) are here, too. God... This series is just GOOD. It's so good, you guys. #29 left me absolutely sobbing at my desk at work, and it has one of the few truly HAPPY endings of the series. The character Cassie is widely hated by the fandom for some choices she makes later in the series, and I've been having an interesting time reading essays (actual essays) by her fans defending her; saying her perspective is what elevates this series from "just" another war series. This IS a war series, and it shows you what many WON'T: It shows you the humanity of the antagonists. It puts worth on them, and makes their loss a genuine tragedy. It darkens and twists our heroes' morality and limits until you're left wondering who the real monster is. It leaves victories feeling hollow. It teaches you that people don't come back from war; not completely; not ever. How many other kids' series will feature a young teenager shoving his own mother off a cliff's edge while tearfully whispering, "I love you"? Everything is a choice with consequences; even inaction.
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As for the ongoing series I'm reading, I obviously intend to finish Animorphs and the Dublin Murder Squad series in 2021. I've stopped reading Maggie Stiefvater's works, not for any personal reason, but because I think I'm drifting away from her style (I just don't find teenagers, budding romance, and the classicist world of academia all that relatable). I've also decided to stop reading the October Daye series (sorry, Seanan McGuire! I love your "Mira Grant" books so much, but I just wasn't enjoying this series)! And I'm officially done with Holly Black— the last "Folk of the Air" book was so crushingly disappointing that I DON'T TRUST HER WITH MY HEART ANYMORE. (Made all the more painful by how phenomenal — nay, PERFECT — the first two books were.) HOLLY, WHY?!?!
I'm still reading Patricia Briggs' "Mercy Thompson" series, but you bet I'm side-eyeing the way she's been writing female characters lately (Elizaveta, anyone? What the hell was THAT shit, Patty???) I'd like to finish Kitty Norville, too. And I'm determined to finish the Doctrine of Labyrinth series, no matter how confusing it is.
I don't usually pay much attention to new releases, but I'm excited to read Pumpkin by Julie Murphy when it comes out in May. Her dear books just soothe my fat-girl soul.
Still, I'm determinedly NOT making many 2021 goals. Our world is a dumpster fire, and my real goals are just to survive. If that means withdrawing into the safety and shelter of books, then so be it.
Okay. Now that that's all settled, I'm stuffing myself with tea and cake. Ciao.
