Anonymity of a phone call

Anonymity of a phone call

I love phone calls. I happen to be on phone calls most of the time and I find it very much a happy thing.

More than phone calls being happy. Phone calls make the connection between people without having the opportunity to meet them at our best. I dont have to be dressed perfect, dressed presentable or dressed in matching attires. I can have a lazy day, wear the same dress for a week, a dress that is slightly torn and faded. I dont have to comb my hair, worry about dandruff on my shoulders and listen to thirty thousand tips from relatives.

Best of all I can sit how ever I want, sleep in weird positions and still take the call, connect with people far far away in Geography, memory and intimacy. The anonymity of the phone call gives me the luxury of being me at all times yet maintaining the thread of a few conversation that simply are needed.

I can have no dress on. Still speak to you with fondness. The other side will not know. Shall not judge, shall not care. Shall not see. Shall not observe.

I can have bad breath, I can still be on the bed, I can still have my breakfast, I can still carry my beard, I can still be cool with unkempt hair, Un-pressed dresses. I don't have to be presentable.

I may have to make small talk but then I am always free to make my own facial expressions, groan in the quiet comfort of my own space if the conversation goes away. And the best part is the opposite side of the spectrum is also with the same liberty. They can also equally invent another opportunity and tell me that they have another call, another assignment, someone calling them and cut the call within no time.

I sort of lose this comfort when I am going out - be it to buy the groceries or attend a social gathering.

I need to do a lot of chores. Look presentable, iron those flaws, wear my happy mask and smile away to glory. I have to worry about needless things - the perfume, the nail colour, my hair and the bun, the colour of the saree someone else may wear. I have to maintain social standing, look dignified. The Dhoti and Banian, the bare chest with a spurt of hair growth aint cutting it.

I am conscious of judgement, I am wary of small talk, I am out of my comfort zone. I am to talk to people that I am not comfortable with, never see again, others who feign interest but are judging you by the smell of your fart or the lack of it.

When I go outside- which I hardly do - I am like a beast that is in a imaginary prison. I have to say the right words, look my part and wear the masks that make me acceptable. I am indulge in this dance of rituals that personally carry very little meaning.

I am cool with wearing a faded shirt, old jeans and look like I have had a bad day but have a conversation, enjoy the evening in peace.

I am sorry, I don't need free advice on how to look nice, how to look perfect for marriage. What my plans are for marriage? Why don't I trim my beard, chop off my long hair and look the way you want me to.