Things I Want: Part 2

Earlier this week I wrote about what I would buy if one of my books sold spectacularly well and I found myself with some cash to throw away on things other than the mortgage, taxes, and the dogs' vet bills. At the time the only thing I could think of to get myself was this crazy wonderful monkey lamp.

But the monkey lamp--fabulous as it is--costs only $995. Also, as my friend Robert pointed out, it's boringly practical. It was suggested by several people that I should try to think of something...