Home (?) Again
Sorry again for the long delay in posting. I've been a little depressed, and it's hard for me to write anything in that state of mind.
On the train back from Edinburgh, I could feel myself changing. Perhaps I had changed while there and just noticed the difference as I got closer to home. I'm less attached to life in Romania. I feel more of an outsider here with the Roma. As expected, Drina was angry with me for being a few days late in returning, but then she was mad about me going in the first place. She needs me, my help with so many things, and my being gone so long cost her money that she's going to withhold from the little she gives me in addition to my food and sleeping space.
My father is even more of a concern. I think of him all the time now. It's been snowing here and really cold. This is not good. We've "rented" a large home on the outskirts of Bucharest. Five families live in it. The home must have been abandoned before we moved in. Really poor heating, but at least we have a little. The snow would be beautiful, if we weren't so cold.
Most of the Roma speak a little English. Since returning from Edinburgh, I won't speak anything else. I'm converting my identity. I no longer want to be Romanian. I make the Roma talk to me in English. Drina speaks English like an English woman, but she doesn't like to speak it. Sometimes she won't answer my English questions even in Roma, if I don't speak in Roma.
These are the lean months for the Roma, at least for our little band. Not so many tourists outside of the ski resorts. And we're not going there. They turn to stealing. For food they they get old discards from markets. The merchants know how desperate they are and try to sell it to them at high prices. We know one merchant who sets our his produce for us for free. There are a few good people in the world.
My concentration on English has improved my writing, even in this short time. I've always written in a combination of English and Romanian, but now I write just in English. Came back with a couple of English composition books Gail gave me. I have some questions when I next see Dragos. I've seen him a couple of times already since I've been back, but just overnight. He's not too pleased with me. He was a little jealous of David in Edinburgh.
I finished some more chapters for my vampire novel. I'm on Chapter 32 now. Eight more to go. I wrote them all in English. Dragos was a little disappointed, I believe. "What do you need me for," he asked. He's not been possessive until now. He's had some tough times too. I've patterned my character Mikhail after him. Except that I'm in love with my character and not Dragos. Mikhail is Russian. Dragos will never forgive me for saying that, but he knows it's the truth. I believe Dragos has had another girlfriend besides me, and I think maybe she ran out on him. I think he really loved her, and now he's afraid he's going to lose me too. He won't talk about it. Men are so funny.
I hear from Gail all the time now. She keeps me up to date on my mother, more than I'd like even. Hope she doesn't read this. As David said, it's the post-modern world. Or perhaps the post-post-modern world. David is ever on my mind.
