The Fiver | Stitched up good and proper by that piece of work Virgil van Dijk

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The Premier League continues to be a maelstrom of glorious unpredictability. On Friday night, Aston Villa, the only team left in England with a 100% record, were outplayed, outpaced and outfought by Dirty Leeds, who made off with their Leftfield Title Contenders status in the 1970s comic-book style, giggling like they’d just taken possession of a large bag of sweeties. “Yoinks, now for a feast!” guffawed a carefree Marcelo Bielsa, who already held the Hipsters’ Choice award, which for the record is shaped like a giant plate of mashed potatoes with sausages sticking out of it. Good luck wresting either of those distinctions from his grasp this season.

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